


Justice Matters Most

by JeSouhaite



Series: Mrs Goodman [2]
Category: Better Call Saul (TV)
Genre: AU from 508, Chuck Ernie and Howard popping up, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Mainly two married people learning to communicate and be honest, Some pre-canon Jimmy and Kim, Sort Of, season 5 level angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23720569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeSouhaite/pseuds/JeSouhaite
Summary: Step inside the law offices of a husband and wife duo. A montage of scenes bringing us much, much closer to the Breaking Bad timeline.--Part 2 of the Mrs Goodman series where we are on a tangent from 508. This one will be multi-chapter with shorter, more light-hearted stories...mostly.
Relationships: Jimmy McGill | Saul Goodman & Kim Wexler, Jimmy McGill | Saul Goodman/Kim Wexler
Series: Mrs Goodman [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697041
Comments: 40
Kudos: 63





	1. Invitation to treat

Kim sat on the sofa in her pyjamas enjoying her last day of unemployment watching a baseball game, eating leftover pizza from the day before and sipping on a beer in the middle of a weekday.

Jimmy was sitting on the other end of the couch with a legalpad next to him, typing away on his laptop. At one point Kim tried to sneak a peek at his notes but he covered them up quick. “Hey, no contract work for you, remember?”

She just smiled, shook her head and went back to numbing her brain, eternally grateful to Jimmy for sparing her. If she didn’t have to do any more contract law in her life she would die a happy lawyer. Still, she was curious.

“Okay, I think I’m done,” Jimmy announced half an hour later. The printer droned away in the corner for a while; with every passing second and with every new page being spit out Kim’s eyebrows raised higher and higher. With nervous eagerness Jimmy went to collect the print job then handed it to Kim as he took a seat across her on the coffee table. “Here’s my invitation to treat, Ms Wexler.”

Kim skimmed the document her eyebrows now travelling inwards and downwards instead of upwards. “Jimmy, this is...excessive.”

“Hey, I know you’ve said silent partnership but out of the two of us you have the more experience. And I don’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to running a practice so, you know--, I’ve figured it’s safer to just hand you the wheel.” There had to be more, Kim thought as she re-read some of the paragraphs. She fixed him with a look that she knew would make him talk. “I just...I don’t want any doubt over ownership.”

Kim Wexler had been screwed over by a contract _once_. She was 21 and dumb. Signed the thing without reading it. _Once again, dumb._ And with the flick of her pen her fiancé became a gas station owner while Kim - the person who actually convinced the previous owner to sell and put all of her savings into the deal - got the plum job of Gas Station Attendant; nothing more than a mere employee and a shittyly paid one at that. The contract was drawn up by her fiancé's lawyer who she assumed was _their_ lawyer. He wasn’t. _Did she mention dumb?_

Kim put the stack of papers down next to herself and slid closer to Jimmy, looking deep into his unsure eyes.

“Jimmy. I would never think…” She trailed off, changing her mind about the phrasing and to emphasise her next point she took his hand with one of hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I trust you.”

_I don’t trust you._

That sentence from just a few days ago echoed through Jimmy's head. He looked away from her piercing blue stare. The words he normally would have stopped himself from uttering slipped out of his mouth, “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“Jimmy…” She wanted to argue, to try and convince him that things were different now but felt suddenly emotionally exhausted by just the thought of having that conversation. Giving his hand a slight tug she smiled and asked with a fond, exasperated sigh, “What the hell is going on in your head?”

Jimmy huffed a little in amusement. Grateful for the shift from gravity to levity he quipped back, “You don’t want to know.” And then with a final squeeze he pulled his hand from hers and reached for the documents. “So? Any changes? Or can I make it an offer?”

Right on that couch with the flick of their pens they officially became partners at law.

Whilst the ink was drying Jimmy walked off to the hallway. “Alright. So, thanks to this little, one week break I’m a bit behind so…” He came back with a banker’s box that he then dropped in front of Kim. “This month’s lot.”

She ran a hand through the folders counting at least twenty of them in there. “Jesus. Is this still leftover from the 45?”

“Ah, no. Well, four of them, yes. Those are going to trial,” he muttered bashful. Whilst he enjoyed the buzz of his one man magic show he wasn’t sure what Kim would think of it having come from working at large firms that did things much differently. “These are new ones. Referrals and returning customers.”

Kim’s eyes were wide in awe. “You’ve gone through 41 cases in--What? Less than three months? _Whilst_ helping with Acker?”

“I promise I gave them the best legal representation possible.” Jimmy wrongly assumed Kim’s silence meant she also thought he was just churning these cases out for the money. “Okay, maybe not as good as your pro-bono work--But they were mostly misdemeanours and low level felonies so it wasn’t---”

“Holy shit, Jimmy!” Kim finally found the words interrupting Jimmy’s self-deprecating rant. “What are we doing here?” He blinked, utterly confused, desperately hoping he hadn’t just managed to screw up their partnership in record time. “You don’t need me as a partner. You are a goddamned criminal law genius.”

The shock smacked him in the chest forcing a startled little chuckle out of him along with all the tension that was gnawing at his throat and crawling around in his head. With a conspiratorial smile he shared, “I did get myself stuck in an elevator with Suzanne. 16 plea bargains in twenty minutes. I doubt I can make a habit of that.”

Between fits of laughter Kim begged, “Oh my god, you have to tell me about that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Random law facts:** (just so we can appreciate the true genius of the Magic Man)  
> \- A Public Defender handles ~240 cases/year on average, which is excessive  
> \- According to the American Bar Association the recommended time spent on each type of case is: murder/homicide 107hr, sex felonies 65hrs, high-level felonies 50hrs, low-level felonies 27hrs, juveniles 20hrs, misdemeanours 12hrs, probation violations 10hrs  
> \- About 1-2 cases out of ten should go to trial


	2. Indecent exposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy and Kim get an office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** Gets a bit hot in here. I think I've managed to keep it teen-friendly but then again teen-friendly in the UK might not be as such in the US.

The first office they checked out was on the 15th floor of a new development downtown. It had two corner offices - pretty far apart - with spectacular views and enough space to grow into a mid-sized firm or even larger if they were to take over other floors.

Jimmy was enthusiastically chattering with the agent about finishings whilst Kim quietly stood in the middle of the vast space with a lost look on her face.

They have only started working together a month ago but she was already growing very fond of the close quarters, being by Jimmy’s side almost constantly, pretty much only parting for bathroom breaks. It was so much different - and better - than working at an established firm and even beat their brief time at Wexler McGill when they shared an office but not a practice and definitely not clients or the cause they were fighting for.

This was gritty and raw but a tonne of fun. She had learned more about the courthouse in this one month than in the ten years before. For instance, Jimmy introduced her to some of the little rooms on hidden corridors that they could just use or put in for at the clerks office for quick witness prep sessions or for talks with clients or...other things.

Which reminded her of their first trial together. Jimmy had done most of the legwork already but looped her in and let her do the closing argument they had prepared together. When the ‘not guilty’ verdict was announced Kim fought hard to hide her smirk from Suzanne. _First trial, first victory._

Walking out of the courtroom Jimmy turned left with the intention of going home, maybe ordering some take-out and open some champagne to celebrate. Kim had other ideas and grabbed his arm to drag him to their right, down a narrow, rarely used corridor - by which time they were both giggling like schoolchildren - and practically shoved him into a small, dingy room that smelled like it hadn’t been aired out in months.

Kim kicked the door shut behind herself and lunged for Jimmy, framing his face with both hands. He came crashing down on her mouth, their lips parting immediately, tongues sliding along each other as muffled groans reverberated in their throats. Warm hands slid under Jimmy’s grey button up shirt and short nails scraped over his abdomen. He released Kim’s lips with a growl, lifted her up to sit on a drawer just about waist high, worked her skirt up and knelt in front of her.

Stifling a moan with one hand Kim’s head lolled back against the wall behind her as she ran her fingers through his hair, so keyed up already she almost lost herself the moment his nose brushed her panties.

Her rational mind - a mere background buzz - reminded her of the legal ramifications of their actions: _Indecent exposure: a misdemeanour punishable by up to 1 year in prison and up to $1,000 in fines._

Kim came with a shout just a few minutes later. Jimmy stood with a little chuckle, beaming with pride, looking perhaps a little too smug. But she couldn’t be mad at him, her mind still lost in a haze of pleasure, her chest tightening with adoration just looking at his happy face. 

He used her underwear to clean her up, pocketed it then slowly rolled her skirt back down. She gave a little mewl as a protest noticing the situation in his pants to which he replied, “home”.

_He was right, they were probably pushing their luck as it was._

When he later floated the idea of an office she was a bit thorn. Would this be the end of their thrilling adventures of the courthouse? Or the beginning of another, better one? Eventually, she conceded that their current situation wasn’t exactly sustainable at the rate they were growing and it was time to settle in into a fixed office 

Jimmy was back having ditched the estate agent. Standing in front of her his enthusiastic grin slipped as he read her face. “Too much?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve figured as much. Just thought, maybe…” He trailed off realising he never shared his ideas of grandeur with her and seeing her standing here, it felt wrong. All those things he tossed into Howard's face - well, back. This was Kim, the only person who knew that he had spent years living in the back of a nail salon and never judged him for it. “The next one is much more low-profile, I promise.”

And he was right. The moment they got out of his car and she laid eyes on the place, she knew this was it. Parking was adequate and free. The location perfect: just a short drive from the Metropolitan Detention Center and very close to the courthouse. And there was even a bus stop right outside served by two lines. The building itself did not look at all intimidating. She knew that some of her pro-bono clients understandably felt very uncomfortable at Schweikhart. _Hell, even she did at times._

The whole building was about the same size as their old dentist office only with a different layout. The two rooms in there - side-by-side with a door between them - that Jimmy imagined would be their personal offices were much smaller. Not nail salon small but small nevertheless. There was, however, a decent sized conference room candidate in there as well and since they dealt with clients together most of the times that was the most important room anyhow.

They walked out with stony faces. The agent was trying to gauge their interest, getting a bit desperate by the end. Standing in front of the building the young man added as a last ditch attempt pointing towards a strip mall, “There’s a bail bondsman right across the road.”

Jimmy shook his head. “I don’t know. Price’s a bit steep.”

“Yeah, I mean the area is a bit...you know,” Kim went along unenthusiastically. She did have a point though, that area _was_ slightly dodgy which had meant the pool of potential tenants must have been rather narrow, especially for a place this nice.

The agent was right on the hook. “How about we waive the contract fee?”

Jimmy took Kim’s hand and took a step towards their car. With a reluctant sigh he started, “You know what---?”

The guy quickly interjected, “We can go down to 80c.”

Jimmy pursed his lips. “Throw in a fresh coat of paint?”

“We could do that, sure.”

Within the week they were the tenants of a nicely refurbished bungalow. With a fresh coat of paint. To Kim’s relief Jimmy was not as enthusiastic about massive signs as he had been with Wexler McGill. She suspected that their new chosen name was still bothering him. Still, she knew it was just a matter of time before he came up with a ‘better wall’ for the office.

A couple of days into sprucing up the place the new nameplates for the doors have arrived. Jimmy caught Kim staring at his ‘Saul Goodman’ one with a sad look on her face. He knew that she still didn’t understand it. _Sometimes even he was confused._

Fact was, she married James McGill; she called him Jimmy even in front of clients and he saw her flinch every time he introduced himself as Saul.

He walked up to her and looked at that sign with a thoughtful expression before he took a deep breath and said what was on his heart.

“Chuck…” _Fuck_. He was already having trouble articulating the whirlwind that that single name stirred up in his head. Kim looked up at him with surprise, not uttering a word, afraid that she would break this moment. “He, ah---Before he... I went to visit him. I was scared out of my mind because I’ve almost lost you.” One of her hands grabbed his, desperate to give him just a little comfort, to let him know she was there. It seemed to work as he carried on. “I just--- I wanted to make amends...” Kim tensed in anticipation, knowing that something monumental was coming. “He told me that I’ve never mattered all that much to him.”

“Oh, Jimmy.” She wanted to grab a shovel, dig up Chuck’s grave and punch the man in the face. “Why haven’t you told me this before? God, I thought...That stupid fucking letter...I'm so sorry.”

Kim placed a gentle hand on his cheek, her thumb softly caressing. Tears were rolling down his face but she wasn’t wiping them away and neither was he. He leaned down a little connecting their foreheads. Yes, he felt like shit having relived the moment but it also was liberating finally saying it out loud and seeing Kim’s reaction. And as her arms went about him, pulling him in close the pain shrank just that tiny bit.

Kim felt so ill-equipped for this. An embrace or anything her body was ready to give was a mere bandaid to Jimmy’s gaping wound. Then she realised she now had something new in her arsenal.

“I love you, Jimmy,” she murmured into his shirt. It was still so new, this openness between them, that it never failed to take Jimmy by surprise. He huffed, a puff of warm air on her neck as his arms tightened around her.

In a few seconds he was pulling back, smiling. His cheeks were wet, eyes red but that small smile persisted and gave his eyes a little sparkle. She momentarily forgot how to breathe. Then came his cheeky wink and a finger gun aimed at her heart. “‘s all good, man.”

And she gave a little laugh as she shook her head in fondness of this amazing, slightly broken man. She picked up the sign and slotted it into its bracket on his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, no strip mall. We’ll get there...eventually. I’ve just figured, unlike the writers, I can take my time and give it a spin. After all we're still only in mid-2004 and Saul doesn't enter BB until December in 2008. That's a loooooong time.
> 
> And no, I did not forget about the whole cartel angle. Lalo is still out there just didn’t have an epiphany.


	3. Yellow Socks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling into the new office, finding new uses for furniture  
> 

The whole silent part of the partnership lasted maybe a week. Initially, Kim just wanted to help out in the decision making, do some mentoring, take care of the business management maybe do a little prepwork for Jimmy. But after reading through his recent case files she realised that she had unfairly judged him. Did he practice colourful law? _Sure_. But was it bad? _Debatable_. He was actually playing it pretty safe. _Save for that little misstep with the cartel._

All told, Saul Goodman was a fine lawyer who stuck up for the little guy, the people the likes of HHM and Schweikhart were ‘too good for’ and would only consider as charity cases and only if they had the potential of some good PR or they were mandated to take them by the state. Yes, Saul was a bit on the pricey end but fancy lawyers with whole legal teams - who would likely get the same results - would charge ten times as much for representation.

When Kim floated the idea of balancing out pricing by charging more when it came to the career criminals who could afford them and less for first time offenders - the ones who had just made one mistake -, he was willing to compromise. They had enough money, with his cartel pickup payment and her savings and final bonus and the equity payout; they could easily stay afloat for years without any income. Sure, buying a house might have to be put on hold but only temporarily. Not that they had spent a lot of time at home anyhow; between long stretches at the courthouse and frequent visits to MDC they often just crashed in a nearby B&B to save on commute times.

Now that they had their office it became their new base of operations/home. There was a room they used for storage for documents pertaining to current cases. In there was a table with two chairs, a whiteboard and a wall already littered with details of their currently largest case - a high-level felony - they were doing discovery on, trying to connect the scattered dots APD and the prosecution dumped on them. After a burst of brainstorming they were now both crawling through police reports and witness statements.

Kim was out of her heels, her bare foot running up and down Jimmy’s shin as she was deep in thought. At times she tried to reach skin underneath his trousers only to be foiled by his stupid sock garters keeping his bright yellow socks up and in her way. He was wearing a matching shirt and pocket square which reminded Kim that they were going to see Judge Papadoumian that day.

“Ha!” Jimmy exclaimed his eyes fixed on the report in front of him. His hand blindly scrambled for a highlighter not noticing that he ended up taking Kim's. She was somewhat protective of her stationary and made sure to visually track that object so she could claim it back before it disappeared in the black hole that was Jimmy's office. Then he added insult to injury as he distractedly muttered, “Kim, could you get me a map of Cibola?”

When the daggers she shot with her eyes bounced back from the thinning hair on his scalp, she tried words instead. “I’m not your legal secretary.”

Without missing a beat or looking up Jimmy mused, “Hmm, shame because I was thinking about bending my secretary over this table during lunch. Now, am I going to have to call Francesca in here or...?”

She hated sleazy Saul. She hated him so much. Enough that she ended up bending _him_ over the table.

She loved Jimmy. She loved him so much. But sometimes he came off a bit too needy. Saul on the other hand…

_This could not be healthy. But it worked. Sort of._


	4. Winners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _“Sometimes - in our line of work - you can get so caught up with the idea of winning that you forget to listen to your heart.”_ \- Howard (101)  
> 

#### 2004 February - Winners?

_Jimmy, you’re always down._

He fucked up. Again. _It was over._

Kim was standing in their - _her_ \- bedroom staring him down. She was upset, wordlessly demanding an explanation, maybe an apology, an admission. He gave her the latter, “I’ve messed it all up.”

“Do you still want to be a lawyer?”

Did he? Had he ever really wanted to be one? He wasn’t sure. But what else was there? Slippin’ Jimmy? If Kim though him a loser now what would she had said about _him_? He had no choice. “Yeah.”

”We can start with that.” Her voice was deep and trembling just a bit. That was as emotional as one could expect from Kim Wexler. Unlike other times, however, this time she was not retreating immediately but stood strong.

Her right hand landed on his left that was still clinging to the box. She prised his fingers from the handle and used her hold to turn him, making them stand face-to-face. This was so much more real now: looking into her eyes and not just their reflection in the mirror. The pain, the hurt hitting him unfiltered and it tore him apart.

She closed the small gap between them, raised to her toes, leaning into him her lips touched his. She knew they should be talking but this was so much easier. No chance of getting hurt or hurting the other.

He wanted to push her away. Shake her. Tell her she was making a mistake, that she should run. His body, however, was ahead of his brain, kissing her back with the desperation of a man who knew in the heart of his hearts that he would inevitably fail her again, that any time could be the last time he got to hold her and bask in the light and colour she brought into his life.

This was winning, right? He still had the girl. And with Kim on his side he was sure they could game his way back to reinstatement. He should feel like he was on the 50th floor. And yet…

#### 2004 May - Mr. and Mrs. Winner

They won. _They_ did.

Jimmy knew it was a victory for the two of them against Kevin. They'd brought justice to all involved. But Kim saw it differently.

He fucked up. Again. _It cannot be over._

“Either we end this now and enjoy the time we’ve had. Or we---”

“Or what?”

“Or we get married.”

This was so not how he had imagined this happening but he found himself nodding. He should have felt happy instead he used any occasion between this decision and its inevitable conclusion the next morning to try and give her several outs. Or maybe a chance to finally vocalise why she also had a hard time letting this thing go.

_So, we’re really doing this, huh?_

_This’ okay with you?_

_I just mean, this might not be what you’ve dreamed of when you were 12._

Ultimately, this was Kim’s choice, her decision. And he was hopeful. This way she could actually hit the brakes before he did something stupid. Because that was what he needed. That was what he had missed from having Chuck around. Someone to keep him on the straight and narrow. Someone to whom he could be accountable.

Only the whole reason why they got to this point was because she kept pushing him to unleash the full potential of Saul Goodman so he could give her the win she was craving.

To say that he was utterly confused would be an understatement. He had no idea what to think anymore when it came to Kim. When to stop and when to press on. Sometimes Giselle was in full swing, other times Kim could murder him with just a look for a small misstep into the morally grey zone.

Not that it mattered. Mike re-entered the picture from the part of his life that started spiralling out of control months ago. She did try and hit the brake. _I don’t want you to do it._ But the line had been cut a long time ago.

#### 2004 August - Heart

He fucked up. Again. _Was it over?_

Kim was standing in his office one hand on her hip, the other on her forehead. She wasn’t upset, she just looked disappointed. Which was ten times worse.

Jimmy squirmed in his seat behind his desk. The silence was killing him, he had to fill it before he suffocated in her pain. “I didn’t have time---”

“No,” she growled rounding on him, hands now balled into fists. _No more lies._ She took a single deep breath and in a measured voice she said, “This might not mean jack shit to you, Jimmy, but it means a lot to me. Can you understand that? I cannot lose my licence. I didn’t just become a lawyer, I wanted this since I was a little girl. And I know it sounds idealistic and pathetic but--- Why can’t you respect that?”

Putting her career on hold was one thing. Up until a few hours ago she actually believed that they might just make it, that she would never go back but stay his partner forever. Things were going so well. And now she found herself having to decide whether she was ready to stand by him when he managed to get himself arrested again. What if he landed in prison this time? The new possibility of her in orange jumpsuit popped in her head. He took them into dangerous territory here. Just one wrong move and everything could crumble into nothing.

“Our contract is bulletproof. This could never hurt you.” Jimmy winced when he realised his choice of words were less than ideal. He tried to get another apology out. “I’m so---”

But Kim wasn’t having it. “It was _so stupid_ , Jimmy. I mean, you know I have clout with Judge Clementine, I could have helped you argue that discovery motion. We could’ve hired a PI and within a week you’d have enough evidence.”

None of this had even occurred to him. All he could think about was getting that quick win. He just looked at the problem and thought up the solution on the spot and rolled with it; the very first thing that entered his mind. And it _was_ a stupid idea. He couldn’t even say he enjoyed the thrill that came with so blatantly playing a judge.

Running a hand down his face in shame, he nodded in agreement. Kim sat across him in one of the chairs reserved for clients to bring them to equal eye-level, trying to catch his gaze.

“Did this have anything to do with your dad?” she asked tentatively, looking for extenuating circumstances, knowing that that particular day tended to hit him hard. 

“I was upset that day, yes. But…” He avoided her compassionate eyes, instead opting for staring at his lap. Upset or not, he was guilty as sin. “Let’s face it. I can’t do this properly. I’m not a real lawyer, just a chimp with a machine gun.”

“What?!” Her frustration morphed into confusion. “Where is this---?” And the answer hit her. “Chuck.”

Kim’d had enough. More than a decade of holding back about his older brother just erupted out of her. “He didn’t know you, Jimmy. He just knew the man you’ve used to be and judged you based on the stupid shit you’ve done when you were young. But you’ve changed so much since then.”

Rationally, he knew that Kim had a point. That this was coming from the woman who was by his side whilst he slaved away in the mailroom controlling his urges to make a quick buck even when he could barely afford to eat. Even when he lost his apartment. Even when he lost his dream of becoming a big time lawyer and was stuck scraping by working PD overflow cases for years.

But Chuck’s summary judgement overruled all his evidence to the contrary. “People don’t change.”

Kim was taken aback by that comment, her head shaking in disagreement. “That’s an alarming thing to hear from a criminal defence attorney.” 

Not that he ever really believed his clients could change. _After all he should know, he was just like them._

With a weary sigh Kim leaned back in her chair. “Just do me a favour. Next time you are about to make a decision and it’s Chuck’s stupid voice you hear in your head. Stop.” She contemplated her next words not entirely comfortable voicing them. “And maybe---take one second and consider how I might feel.”

It was out and Kim felt a bit sick. Jennifer Wexler used to make everything about herself. It never seemed to matter what the conversation was about they’d always end up with Kim’s mother upset that her feelings were supposedly ignored, that even after all Jennifer had done for her, Kim obviously didn’t love her enough because she kept hurting her own mother. When Kim finally broke free she swore she would never use emotional blackmail on anyone. The term ‘if you really loved me then…’ got completely erased from her vocabulary. Love was not supposed to work like that. Jimmy himself had taught her that more than 12 years ago now.

He went silent for long seconds. Thoughtfully he stood turning his back on Kim for a moment taking a few steps away from her before he settled propped up against the windowsill behind his desk looking down at her. “Honestly, Kim, you’ve been keeping your cards way too close to your chest lately.”

 _You could just ask,_ she thought immediately. Her first reaction was to let her resentment finally free but realised it wasn’t entirely fair. He tried to coax her before and all he got was a string of ‘okay’s as she voluntarily sacrificed herself for his happiness over and over again. _Why?_

“Maybe because I don’t feel like I can say anything.” And that was the truth, she was simply afraid that if she were to speak up he would end up hurt, again. Jimmy looked like she had slapped him in the face. _There was no winning here, so might as well just let it all out._

“‘you wanna know how I feel?” He nodded and she decided she she could not handle his piercing gaze anymore. It made her spring out of the chair and take a few steps towards the door. She paced, almost literally jogging her memory to find the words.

“I---I…” She realised she hadn’t really thought about herself or her feelings in a long, long time.

“I’m angry...” That was an easy emotion to identify. It was constantly on the surface even now when she felt happy most days. “It’s fucking exhausting, Jimmy. I keep supporting you, telling you how great you are and you just ignore me and listen to Chuck of all people. _Chuck!_ For fuck’s sake, he wanted to _destroy you_ , Jimmy... And you are letting him win.”

She looked back at Jimmy and regretted it the moment she witnessed a teardrop roll down his cheek. He was staring at a post-it on his desk stuck to his monitor, lost in the world of agony she shoved him into. It stabbed her right in the heart, pain radiating from the middle of her chest, making it hard to breathe. She thought about stopping but she owed this to him. And to herself. To them.

Kim walked to the window and stood next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder, her eyes finding the post-it as well. It was in her handwriting and simply read: _I love you_. She had to look away opting to deliver her next line to her shoes.

“I---I feel helpless and useless.” In her periphery she saw his chest tremble, heard his breath leave him in a stutter as the words impacted. He was finally hearing her and despite the situation she felt something unfetter inside of her, making her chest feel lighter. Another thing she had been hiding from him broke out of its prison. “I’ve cried myself to sleep so many times the last year...”

He snapped out of his trance at that, his head whipping around to look at her.

“We finally got together and yet I was so alone. It’s as if every time we get close, you start pulling away and I--I felt like I’ve lost my best friend... So I’ve figured maybe if we get married-- Maybe it was just the lies…And it worked. We were doing so well.” She looked up at him and reaffirmed, “We _are._ ” Hope sparked in his eyes. “But Chuck's always gonna be here, between us, isn’t he?”

There was no point denying it. “I’m sor---”

“Please don’t. I don’t want to hear it. I’m so sick and tired of you apologising.” When despite everything she had just said her head lolled onto his shoulder he was startled, not expecting her to seek comfort from him. “We’ll figure this thing out, Jimmy. Together. Okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered, not entirely convinced he could do this. That he wouldn’t just end up letting her down again. He couldn’t help it. _Fuck. Chuck again._

Her arms went around his waist bringing her into his side, in his half embrace and after a beat of hesitation he hugged her back. _He could help it, and he would._

For a minute they just stood still. Together. Breathing.

“Jimmy.”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you keep thinking I’ll leave?”

He looked down into her face, pain etched in all its details. _How could she not see it?_ “I’m bad for you.”

The last reaction he was expecting was a snorted giggle. Once she sobered she remarked in a half-serious tone. “If anything we are really bad for each other.” Then, with jest still giving a slight lilt to her voice she took the stand and added with conviction. “I’ve signed a contract, Jimmy. For better or worse.”

He seriously hoped this was worse. He could do with some better now.

“Besides, I hear Sandpiper is settling soon. If I leave now I don’t get my 50%.”

As another giggle shook her body Jimmy held on a bit tighter letting it wash over him and take him along. Suddenly Kim pulled back, her arms dropping from around him as she fixed him with a serious look. “Do _you_ want to leave?”

“No!” His eyes bouncing from hers to the floor and back he quietly confessed, “You’re ‘it’ for me, Kim.”

Her shoulder nudged his to get his full attention, to get him to see her smiling, happy. “Have you considered the possibility that _you are_ ‘it’ for me?”

The tension left his body wrapped in a small, dry chuckle. “I’d complain if I were you. You got seriously stiffed.”

A delightful sparkle twinkled in her eyes as a grin spread on her face, her teeth showing. “Nawh, ‘s all good, man.”

And then she gave him the finger guns. _Fuck, he had it bad for this woman._

By the end of the day Jimmy’s pinky ring was gone, tossed carelessly in the back of one of his desk drawers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few 510 bits in there. I just _had to_ put my twist on things.  
>  **Random law fact:** Class actions (normally) settle within 2-3 years.


	5. Robotic Pleasures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kim and Howard dynamics  
> 

#### 1993

Jimmy was sorting some of the internal memos from the morning putting them in neat order for optimum delivery times. With Burt and Ernie away on lunch and Kim in a meeting with Howard he had full reign of the mailroom. The strict no radio policy meant it was up to him to break up the monotony by doing a full performance of Bohemian Rhapsody. He committed to it fully, complete with the voices, guitar solo and everything.

“I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves...” He trailed off as his eyes caught some movement and snapped up to see Kim standing in the door. The last word slipped out, “me.”

There was a tiny smile on her lips that told him this was not the last time he heard about this little incident. But then the smile disappeared, her features became smooth, too smooth. She was bursting at the seams.

“Smoke?” Came her clipped offer. Less of a question and more an order.

Jimmy looked at his work. All very pressing, some pretty time-sensitive. _Fuck it._ “Uhm, sure.”

He stayed silent the whole way into the parking garage. It was best to let Kim have a drag of her little cancer sticks first. He was brave but not stupid.

When they walked past the wall they normally propped up Jimmy’s heartbeat picked up. She was more stressed than any amount of nicotine could ever fix. This had only happened once before. Here. It had happened a bunch more at her place or his.

At times he was thankful for Howard being such a raging prick - he knew that was an awful train of thought - but having Kim all hot and angry and wanting _him_ of all people had done amazing things to his battered and bruised ego. And if he was being honest, whilst the sex was mind blowing, he was equally thrilled when they stopped at just making out and he really, really loved the part afterwards when she was still buzzing with the endorphins of her climax and just let herself be lost in him, mindlessly caressing him and kissing him softly, letting him hold her.

Sitting at the back seat of her little Mirage Jimmy enjoyed Kim’s short nails ghosting over the inside of his forearm. She was still pressed up against him, fully dressed now, and kept pressing tiny kisses to his cheek, jaw and neck.

“You're a terrible singer, you know that?” she mumbled against his neck and he felt her lips curling upwards against his skin.

“Hey, I thought I was alone.”

“Because you perform better with an audience?”

“The pressure adds a few octaves to my range.” She stifled a giggle into his biceps then pulled back, putting a little space between them. This was his time to try and do damage control. “What happened?”

With a dejected sigh she shared the news. “The 20% deal is off the table.”

“What? But that was their excuse to not give you the summer associate job. They can’t just take it away.”

“They can and they did. Apparently, due to State v Gates the mailroom is too busy for me to leave for 1 day a week.”

“But you need the experience and they have to hire someone to replace you soon anyhow.”

“That’s in another six months. _If_ I pass the bar.”

“When.” Jimmy firmly corrected her. Then went back to griping. “This is insane. You’ll be a top-notch associate in a few months bringing them in all those sweet billable hours they are so hot for. You could make up for the salary of a measly mailroom drone within a week.”

“Howard said I was welcome to shadow a case on my own time. Go to court in a morning then make up for the time during the week.”

“On top of your schoolwork and full time work? Do they want to kill you off before you can pay them back?” He scrambled for a solution. “Listen, the boys and I can pick up a bit more slack---”

“No, Jimmy,” she interjected. “You guys are already putting in overtime just to cover my ass during exam periods.”

“It’s fine, “ he affirmed and then launched into a rant. “I’m happy to do it and you can always bribe Burt and Ernie with some McDonalds. There are Batman toys in the Happy Meals and they are desperate for Poison Ivy. Well, Ernie is. Burt secretly got it but he’s hiding it not to make Ernie jealous. Anyhow, Batgirl it is for Burt. And hey, when you are around you work twice as much as all three of us combined so it’s only fair we pull our own weight for a bit longer---”

“Jimmy...” She had to make him stop talking. Every word of his made the lump larger and larger in her throat. Swallowing hurt like hell and her vision was blurring. _She was so about to cry. Fuck._ In a flash she was back, pressed against him as she captured his lips, her tongue immediately demanding entrance to his mouth. She kissed him until the urge to weep was gone.

That night - after most of the staff except for junior associates and the mailroom employees were gone - Kim found Jimmy and Ernie with two kitchen roll tubes with some paper held at the ends with rubber ties. Jimmy held the phone handset between them.

“Mr. Hamlin. Thank you for subscribing to Sex Robot Inc.!” Ernie exclaimed with his best infomercial voice then had to turn away to suppress a giggle.

It was Jimmy’s turn. “We are here to take care of your robotic pleasures. Would you like your fuse to be blown or should we move straight to your one in our zero?”

#### 2004 September

“Kim,” Jimmy’s tired voice prodded his partner but he got no response. He knew this look well from her law school days. The woman was asleep, with her eyes open. Freaky. He stood from his desk and rounded it to crouch next to her sitting on the other side, head propped up with a hand on her chair’s arm. He shook her gently. “Hey, wake up!”

She startled awake mumbling something about the time, not being asleep and a garden gnome. Jimmy ignored it all and pulled her upright. “C’mon, let’s get you in bed.”

They couldn’t, in good conscience, drive home like this, both completely beat after the umpteenth late night work session they have pulled. Jimmy just opened up his sofa-bed whilst Kim got their two pillows from one of the cabinets.

They shed clothes on autopilot. Jimmy handed Kim his undershirt from the day to sleep in then both slipped under the sheets with a weary sigh. The moment their heads hit the pillow they were out with Jimmy spooned behind Kim.

Their alarm clock went off a mere 5 hours later which was luxury length sleep category already. Jimmy groaned trying to pound that thing into oblivion whilst Kim snuggled deeper into his chest reluctant to get out of the warm cocoon they have created. He indulged her for a few minutes then pressed a kiss to her forehead to pacify her for leaving her behind as he went to put on some coffee.

“We really should get a proper bed in here,” Kim mused as she tried to get all the knots out of her back by stretching.

“That’s a slippery slope.”

Still half asleep they meandered into their own little bathroom in the back, toothbrushes waiting on the counter.

On their way to the courthouse they did their usual stop for breakfast and three coffees-to-go energising themselves with a few hundred quick calories before stepping through the doors of their playground.

They did a quick lowdown of their plans as they collected their stuff after passing through security. Kim got the ball rolling. “I’ve got a ten o’clock with Bill then a hearing with Judge Reynolds.”

“Ah, that explains the extra coffee. Trying to give the old man a buzz?” His suggestive smile made her gag.

She quickly changed the subject. “Which courtroom you’re in?”

“507.” 

“I’ll go witness the magic if I can. If not, meet you at the exit? I think we can squeeze in a lunch at an actual restaurant this time.”

“Ambitious. I like it.”

“Have fun!”

“You too!” They shared a quick kiss before parting, going the exact opposite ways. With just a step between them he quickly added, “Love you!”

She grinned back in response and that smile was stuck on her face for a long time afterwards.

Kim was done half an hour earlier than expected. _Perfect._ That meant she could go and watch her husband steal the show from Brian the new prosecutor from California who was so obviously gunning for public office it was painful to watch and a dream that felt wonderful to destroy one loss at a time. She was already buzzing with adrenaline looking forward to seeing Jimmy and the flair he brought to the law. It was like watching a hall-of-famer batting from front row seats.

Two elevators dinged simultaneously, giving Kim a choice. She walked into the one on her left and cursed herself for it, and for not looking first, when the other occupant greeted her cheerfully. “Kim!”

Voice measured and curt she reciprocated, “Howard.”

She was doing her best to avoid the man’s gaze. Their last conversation didn’t really go very well and she was still a tad embarrassed for having lost it. Not about what she had said, she stood by that, but as a lawyer she should have been able to keep her feelings in check better.

_Not when it came to Jimmy._

When she looked down on the floor to marvel in the linoleum a stray strand of hair broke free and she automatically reached up with her left hand to fix it. That was when Howard noticed the golden ring on her finger.

“Oh, I see congratulations are in order,” he remarked, his cheerfulness now sounding more put on.

 _Just keep it civil._ They were two senior lawyers, how hard could it be? Kim stuck to keeping it short and not offering any information. “Thank you.”

“I heard you’ve also partnered with..." Howard trailed off and chose his next words pointedly, barely hiding his disdain, "Saul Goodman.” Kim just gave him a small nod and a polite smile. Apparently, that was an invitation for more talking. “Kim. I’ve talked to Rich Schweikhart. We are both worried. You’ve just walked away from it all. Why? Did Jimmy convince you?”

Kim swallowed staring up at the numbers lighting up slowly. _Did Howard pay Jimmy’s elevator repair guy to make this particular carriage extra slow?_ It seemed there was no way to avoid this conversation so Kim took her stance.

“It may be hard for you to imagine,” she started, still diplomatic despite getting more and more irate inside, “but I do actually enjoy this more than working for a large firm. You should try it sometime, Howard. It’s really liberating.”

With a ding the doors finally opened. It wasn’t her floor. She turned to Howard but he wasn’t moving. “Isn’t this your floor?”

“At one point, you’ll have to make a decision.” The doors closed again. Kim was literally trapped in this conversation. “What are you getting out of this relationship? Is it worth throwing away your career for?”

Several snide retorts crossed Kim's mind but she held back. “I appreciate the concern, Howard. But you don’t know half of it.”

“I’ve offered him a job, you know. Bet he didn’t tell you that.”

Kim glanced at the board with the floor numbers; freedom was close. But so was her breaking point. _Fuck it._ She turned to him with a seething glare.

“Any other _assumptions_ you’ve made about our lives?” Before Howard could speak she let it all out. “He did tell me about the job. And honestly, I was tempted to hurl a few bowling balls at you too, Howard.” The elevator stopped and the door opened on Kim’s floor. She was not getting out. “Did you know he was effectively homeless for almost two years because you and Chuck blackballed him? That even the PD’s office rejected him because they looked at his CV and wondered why someone who busted his balls at the HHM mailroom for seven years couldn’t get hired there as an associate.” Howard was squirming and Kim was not done. “You’ve _ruined_ his life. Did you honestly think that some job would make up for it? You know what happened at Davis & Main. Jimmy is not a big firm attorney, he has way too big of a heart for that.” She had him know. This time it was Howard looking at everywhere but at her. Kim pushed the number for her floor again only momentarily taking her eyes off of him. “But this is not about him, is it? This is about you. _Again._ Making _you_ feel better." The doors opened again and this time she stepped outside, turning back to deliver the last blow, one hand on the door to stop it from closing. “It's great that you are making amends but Jimmy has every right not to accept your apology. So just do us a favour and leave my husband alone.”

With that she let the door go and walked off towards 507. Every inch of her was trembling the adrenaline buzz of moral victory echoing through her body. The next fifteen minutes she sat watching Jimmy tear apart the prosecution's main witness. When he was done he turned from the well to return to his table their eyes met and she winked at him, barely containing her giddiness.

Instead of a restaurant she had him drive them back to their office whilst she ordered some take-out from their favourite place to be delivered. As soon as her office door closed behind them she practically jumped him.


	6. Rubber Duckie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ernie and the Magic Man. Also some Kim and Jimmy fluff at the end because _whynot?_  
>  I miss Ernie.

The interrogation room attached to detention was tiny and with three large bodies already in there it just felt even more cramped. The two detectives were almost literally breathing down their suspect’s neck. That was until Jimmy burst into the room after pumping himself up a bit outside, puffing his chest with a few deep breaths.

The moment the detectives laid eyes on the lawyer they swore and one exclaimed. “Hell no! Not you!”

6 months of very effectively defending the little guys of Albuquerque made Saul Goodman - and his partner - infamous amongst the police. _If you’d do your jobs properly we would have a harder time._

“And a pleasant evening to you too, officer,” Jimmy boomed confidently.

“Det--”

“Now leave me alone with my client.” Begrudgingly both detectives left the room after switching off the tape. Jimmy sat next to his client with a sigh. It was 3am, he was ripped from his marital bed in the middle of the night which made him a tad cranky. “Ernie.”

“Jimmy, thanks for coming so fast.”

“Hey, don’t mention it, okay?” He skimmed the available documents. “So what do we have here? Reckless driving. Street racing--”

“They want me to give up the organisers. I’m not a rat, Jimmy. I won’t talk.”

“Okay…” That just made this a bit harder. “Says here they stopped you on the freeway but the meet was the other side of town. So they didn’t actually catch you doing anything illegal?”

“No! Maybe a little speeding. I’m not sure.”

“Good. We can get this down to careless driving--”

“Oh no, man, that’s still three points.” Jimmy glanced back at the paperwork spotting a previous reckless driving conviction in there that he didn’t know about. It had happened just barely after his reinstatement and Ernie seemed to have just pleaded guilty without putting up a fight. That meant he already had 6 points on his licence; one more would mean suspension. “I can’t lose my licence. Driving is all I have. If I don’t get out of this, my life is over!”

The next question was gentle with no hint of judgement. “Do you think you could stop? It’s just that, after that pileup downtown PD is on an at least 6 month mandate to do something about street racing. I’m sure they’ll move on once things die down but until then, you may want to lay low. ”

“I know. But...I don’t know, I feel like I need it. I need to go out.”

“I get it. You need to feel alive, to feel like you’re in control of your life.” Ernie’s eyes went wide as he nodded, never having articulated the _why_ before.

Jimmy was contemplating a little tough love, making this deal conditional. But messing up was part of life - especially when you were in pain - and he might just end up pushing Ernie away with ultimatums. The last thing he wanted was for Ernie to stop calling him for help again fearing that Jimmy would just judge him and be angry.

“You’re still workin’ at Davis & Main?”

“Nawh, Hamlin called me back to HHM.”

“Ah, that’s great.”

“Yeah, the drive to Santa Fe sucked ass.”

“Tell me about it.” Running through the details again Jimmy concluded. “Listen, I think I have a play here. Just stay quiet, alright? Only answer my questions if there will be any, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ten minutes later Ernie was a free man with a valid licence. Stepping outside into freedom Jimmy put a hand on the young man’s back. “C’mon. Let’s get Rubber Duckie from the pound.”

“Stop calling my car that. It’s blue!” Ernie whined whilst they started walking towards Jimmy’s car.

The lawyer just chuckled and continued to needle his friend both enjoying the old dynamics with smiles on their faces. “You wanted to buy the yellow one, admit it.”

“Yellow is a nice colour. Your Esteem looked rad when we’ve bought it, remember? Shame you’ve stopped washing it.”

“There was a lot of shame about that car.”

“Hey!” Ernie passionately spoke up in defence of the little Suzuki. His disdain clear on his face when Jimmy unlocked his new car. “It served you for years unlike this piece of shit Caddy will.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes. _Petrolheads._ Avoiding another sermon about his bad choices the older man switched gears. Putting his car in drive he started their way to the impound lot. “Kim’s bought a Montero.”

“No way!” The sparkle in Ernie’s eyes were back. Him and Kim used to hit the Mitsubishi dealer every couple of months for new brochures.

“It has a skid plate and a bunch of lights. Scares the crap out of me. The car _and_ the woman.”

Ernie guffawed and Jimmy couldn’t help but join in. Once he could speak again the younger man excitedly asked, “Do you think she’d let me drive it?”

“Of course she would,” Jimmy declared knowing that Kim was keen to share the pleasures of driving that beast with someone who would finally appreciate it. Enthusiastically he added, “She goes to this private track in the desert once or twice a month. You could go with her. She took me a few times but I’m a useless co-driver.”

“Cool!”

The rest of the short drive was spent with Ernie blabbering about off-roading and how his Evo could probably drive circles around Kim’s Montero unless you’ve introduced rough terrains. Jimmy nodded along with a polite smile just enjoying the fact that his friend was cheering up.

Pulling up at the lot Ernie unbuckled his seatbelt then mumbled. “Thank you, Jimmy. I really appreciate this. How much--”

“Pay me by getting my wife off my back for a few hours.” Jimmy joked chuckling to himself abruptly stopping when he noticed Ernie’s stunned expression.

“Wife? You and Kim…?”

Jimmy looked at his steering wheel in shame. “Yeah, sorry, buddy. I just… We married last May. Mama Rose has just, ah...and I didn’t---”

“No. No. I’m not mad...I’m happy.” And true to his words his surprise shifted into a huge grin as he slapped Jimmy’s shoulder. “It’s about time! I mean, you’ve been in love for what? God, forever. I, damn---congratulations man.”

Jimmy huffed, embarrassed. They really did take their sweet time. “Thanks.”

Ernie was smiling but the signs of crying was still evident on his face. Jimmy wanted to offer him support, let him know that even though they had drifted apart a bit they were still friends and he was there for him. But telling him that he could call at any time just did not sound enough. He knew that the last thing you would want to do when you were hurting and feeling down is to bother someone with your misery. It was time to be proactive. “Listen, I’m cooking fajitas this Saturday for dinner. You wanna join us?”

“Sounds good.”

“6?”

“See you then!”

It was 9am by the time Jimmy made it to the office. Francesca was already bustling around inside. They’ve greeted each other, the secretary doing her best not to raise an eyebrow noticing he had just come in after obviously being out all night. Jimmy was about to explain the situation when the door to the little storage room opened and out walked his wife with a box in hand, all radiant and well-rested. He was so not jealous.

“Hey, my ray of sunshine!” Jimmy chirped making Kim chuckle at the cheesy nickname. Clearly, he was sleep deprived, she concluded and let him get away with it.

“Hey, _Jimmy_.” He followed her into her office where she dropped the box near the end of her couch then turned to ask, “Everything alright?”

He was busy taking off his tie and shedding his jacket as he spoke. “Yeah, all taken care of. Had to threaten them with a civil rights lawsuit for profiling but they’ve caved in the end. No charges.” Kim gave him a helping hand with his shirt buttons whilst he got his cuffs. He thoughtfully murmured, “He’s not taking his mum’s death very well. I’ve invited him for dinner this Saturday.” She nodded in approval of the plan. “And I hope you don’t mind but I’ve also volunteered you to take him to the tracks.”

Kim narrowed her eyes at him then a knowing smile spread on her lips. “Nice work, counsellor! Helping a friend whilst getting out of an activity you detest.”

“Hey! I don’t _‘detest’_ it.” Before Kim could introduce evidence to the contrary Jimmy got the big guns out. Lowering his voice to make it extra raspy he cajoled, “Any time I can spend with my lovely wife is time well-spent.”

“Oh man!” She snorted a little giggle into his chest now only covered by his undershirt.

“Hey. I mean it.” He was suddenly serious. She looked up into his face seeing softness in his eyes. “It’s just-- I know you’d enjoy yourself more with someone who knows more about cars than which pedal makes it go faster. And Ernie could do with some companionship that doesn’t tempt him to the dark side in return.”

Kim could do nothing but stare up in awe at this man in front of her. Jimmy McGill, was a goddamned selfless saint with a large heart. Thankfully, lately he had been using his empathy to also start being less harsh on himself.

She cut off his rant with a kiss taking him by surprise. It was just a quick thing, the one that said 'I love you' in moments when she just couldn't say it. _Habits were hard to break._ Once she pulled back he gave her a small, sleepy smile looking slightly confused about her motivation but he decided not to ask just pulled her close to enjoy her warmth, hands absent-mindedly caressing her back. _Home._

“I’ve missed you this morning,” Kim blurted out. Realising what she had just said she braced herself for a snicker that never came. Instead Jimmy groaned, dipped his face into her neck, pulled her even closer and took a deep breath.

“God, I’ve missed you too.”

They stood like that for a bit, swaying to their own unique rhythm. Until Jimmy got a bit too comfortable and started falling asleep.

“Come on.” Kim pulled him to the couch. She sat near her box and pulled a pillow in her lap. Jimmy settled there with an afghan over him and fell asleep with her fingers running through his hair as she read through the evidence for her hearing that afternoon.


	7. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My first smut. I’ve thought it fitting for it to be about Jimmy and Kim’s first time with a LOT of plot and fluffiness surrounding it.  
> 

#### 1992

Kim did _not_ like Jimmy McGill. _No._ Definitely did not. And she was absolutely, positively, very likely _not_ falling in love with Chuck McGill’s brother. _Fuck._

 _The man wasn’t even her type._ She took a drag of her cigarette letting her eyes roam his face. His endearing blue eyes full of mirth, the playful smirk tugging at his narrow lips, taunting her.

“What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?” He paused, looking like he was bursting with giddiness trying to hold back the punchline. “The caterer.”

It was a terrible joke. And yet she found herself laughing. Hard. Tears sprang to her eyes, her belly ached. She could not stop. He was laughing too and at one point she realised she laughed more because he was laughing than at the actual joke. _She was happy. He_ made her happy. And she wanted him to make her happy forever. _What the hell?_

She was just going mad. Just needed to get it out of her system. It did not help that she spent all her ‘free’ time at UNM with guys just barely past the drinking age. It was ridiculous how a 6-year wide age gap felt like a chasm in your twenties.

That was the problem: a limited dating pool. Not that she had an abundance of spare time and energy to actually date and the emotionless sex that hook-ups tended to come with was just not her cup of tea.

So she kept on taking care of herself in utter denial about the fact that the faceless man she imagined with her hands between her legs sounded a lot like Jimmy.

It was all his fault, really. He snuck into her life so effortlessly it gave her whiplash. She had a full-time job and education, not expecting to make any meaningful human contact other than professional ones. Then suddenly, he was her best friend. Her only friend if she was honest.

One night they were sitting side-by-side on the back of her car looking down at the lights of Albuquerque, Jimmy turned to her with a thoughtful look.

“What are you most afraid of?”

Without thinking she answered, “Failing.” It was always at the back of her mind.

“Oh wow, I was kinda hoping for spiders or clowns,” he joked with a little awkward chuckle. When she didn’t even crack a smile he did not drop the subject or tried to change it. “Failing. That’s a big one.”

The admission just flowed out of her. “I’m so afraid of fucking up somewhere along the line and having to go back to Nebraska.” 

“Well, before that happens, call me.”

Her tension eased, a ghost of a smile haunting her lips. “Before I fuck up or before I move?”

“I’m a bad influence so probably the latter.” His teasing smirk morphing into a serious look he added, “Kim, I’ve got your back. If I can help it in any way you’ll never go back there. Ever.”

She gave him a broken smile then leaned towards him and he immediately pulled her into his arms for a comforting hug holding her as long as she needed it. This was Jimmy in a nutshell. _Always there_. And he never got pissy when she practically forgot about him for weeks she was so lost in her studies. When she was ready he was just: _there._

 _Was this love?_ She wasn’t entirely sure. It had been years since she had moved away from Nebraska and the distance allowed her to gain some perspective on her life. But still, all she knew for sure was that what she was told was love growing up was definitely not it.

Jimmy thought he would be miserable and lonely in Albuquerque. Making friends around your thirties wasn’t exactly easy. Yet, within a few weeks he made one in his fellow Midwesterner: Kim. It was startling how fast she managed to became his best friend after that. And she was undeniably his best friend. Marco was great - and they grew up together so the history was there -, but Kim, she made him want to be better. Do better. Hell, he was even considering going back to college to finally graduate. She was incredibly smart, but not the kind who rubbed your face into it. And she was unbelievably funny. _And that laugh._

He remember one of the early days of his HHM career a lull had set in in the mailroom. The boredom was painful. Burt and Ernie were building a huge house of cards but using envelopes; a less destructive activity than their previous one: building a tower out of office supplies that resulted in several mail crates falling on Ernie’s head and Jimmy having to sort them out and come up with their new game. It still felt weird to him to be the adult in a situation.

Jimmy was sitting in the copyroom now, at the table in the middle, just drawing a desert landscape whilst keeping a careful eye on the boys through the big glass windows.

An urgent whisper came from the doorway behind him. “Jimmy!”

He turned to see Kim - body still in the corridor, head floating into the room - eyes wild, looking around then settling on him with a look he couldn’t place. _Odd,_ he thought.

With urgency she motioned to him. “Come with me.”

“Uhm, okay.” With a final look at Burt and Ernie, Jimmy slid off his chair and followed her out to the corridor then on to the next door leading to their lockers.

“Get your stuff.”

“Where are we going?”

She looked around again, as if she was expecting Howard to jump out of one of the lockers before she quietly answered so only Jimmy could hear it, “Out.”

A bark of laughter burst out of him. “You haven’t skipped school often, have you?”

“No,” she confirmed a bit sheepish then slammed her locker shut and he could see her hand trembling from the adrenaline coursing through her veins and felt a bit jealous. “Now come on before someone sees us.”

He wanted to tell her that no one gave a shit but as they stalked around the corridors she looked so excited and was all giggles and giddiness. It would have been a shame to ruin this rare moment of fun for her. Then at one point she took his hand to pull him around and his heart lurched into his throat. He couldn’t have spoken even if he wanted to.

She took him to a special showing of The Omen admitting that whilst she enjoyed horror movies she could never watch them alone. He got home at 2am with a smile on his face that refused to leave even as his head hit his pillow.

_Why the hell did he have to fall in love with a colleague of all people? He had a whole new city full of potential dates. None could hold a candle to Kim though._

Every time he thought about asking her out all he had to do was look at a wall, or some document lying around, or a discarded pen in his or her apartment; that blasted blue and those stupid three letters: ‘HHM’. He really did not want to give his big brother any reason to think he was back to his old ways, that he was not taking this opportunity seriously and just came here to cat around. Besides, why would Kim want to settle for a loser like him? _She deserved so much better._

So they stayed just friends. And he cherished every moment of it knowing his life was better with her in it.

Almost ten months have passed since Jimmy’s arrival to Albuquerque. He was turning 30. He had always imagined this one would be a special one. But the 12th of November was a Thursday and he now had a regular job that he couldn’t just ditch. He briefly considered taking it and Friday off but couldn’t leave the boys alone. With Kim gone for the week for moot court they really needed all hands on deck.

Unsurprisingly, no one at work acknowledged the importance of the day. Marcy, their old supervisor who used to be the one buying cakes and making a big deal, had left the month before and neither Burt nor Ernie was keen on the whole cards, cakes and singing thing.

He did get a card in the internal mail. It was from Chuck and Rebecca. There was a semi-personal message in there written in Rebecca’s impeccable handwriting. Chuck had signed it.

Jimmy kept busy the whole day and stayed a few hours longer clearing up the overflow of work Burt and Ernie decided to leave for Friday. When there was nothing else left to do he drove home, got a beer from his fridge, shed his work clothes and sat on his bed, propped up against the headboard, in his boxers and undershirt. In the corner, his tiny television was on, doing its duty: drowning out the silence as he slowly drank his beer and fell asleep.

He startled awake to someone banging on his door. _Probably one of the drunk neighbours._

“Jimmy, it’s me.” _Kim?_

He sprang from his bed pulling on a pair of sweatpants on his way to the door which he then yanked open still thinking this was a dream. But there she stood: Kim Wexler, hair let down, wearing only a t-shirt and jeans. He almost cried at the sight of her.

She looked down at her watch and triumphantly announced, “just in time!” Then looking back up at him she exclaimed, “Happy birthday, Jimmy!” His sleepy brain was ping-ponging between being happy and confused. Kim gave him an awkward smile. “Can I come in? I got you a cake.”

“Now you’re talking.” He snapped out of his stupor and threw the door wide open to gesture her in and immediately plucked the white box from her hand. It was a tiny chocolate cake, nothing fancy, but meant more to him than a cocktail party thrown in his honour.

He got to slicing and plating as she spoke. “I’m sorry for barging in this late. It’s just that my dad has this stupid tradition always wishing me happy birthday one minute before midnight on the day. ‘Says this way you’ll always have a nice end to your birthday no matter how shitty the day was.”

“Clever,” he quipped handing her a plate and fork.

She considered his tiny table in the kitchen then turned, opting for his bed settling across each other while carrying on with the story. “Later, he changed it to calling me when it was midnight wherever he was. Said it was proof I was his last thought that day. And it was also a little game for me to figure out his location.”

Around an enormous piece he stuffed in his mouth he asked, “He travelled a lot for work?”

“Yeah.” She turned forlorn as the memories hit her. A bite of cake seemed to yank her out of that rut. “What about you? Any crazy birthday traditions?”

“Not really. Mum prefers to go crazy around Jesus’ birthday.” He realised his mother probably called and he just missed it by staying late at work. Not that he really wanted to talk to her. Their relationship hadn't been the best since the whole Chet incident. He popped another large chunk of chocolatey goodness into his mouth for a hit of sugar then diverted the conversation. “How’s court? Are you winning?”

The smile that lit up her face was better than any cake, he decided. She launched into a modest but excited rant about the last few days and all Jimmy could do was look on with genuine admiration and pride. _She was truly brilliant._

When she started to feel a bit too much in the spotlight she shifted the focus back to him. “So, how does it feel? Being thirty?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Jimmy jabbed back with a smirk rivalling hers. He deposited his plate on the nightstand behind him without really looking. It was perilously balancing on the very edge.

“Hey!”

“Seriously, Kim. I may need to have a proper look at your driver’s licence. There’s no way you are more than 24.” She chuckled, turning to put down her empty plate on the nightstand on her side, taking the opportunity to hide the blush she felt on her cheeks. 

They settled back against the headboard just staring at the TV for a few minutes, both reluctant to end the night just yet.

“Kim. I--” Jimmy started talking to his lap at first only daring to glance at her from the corner of his eye. “Thank you. For coming over. For the cake.”

Her lips landing at the corner of his mouth could have easily been explained away as an accident. The next time, however...She placed a hand on his cheek to turn his head and kissed him slowly, fully on the lips, his bottom one between hers. Once. Twice. His lips were softer than she had imagined, his cheeks underneath her palm rough with stubble; the textures reminding her that he was real and not just a cheap replica of him that her mind had conjured up before.

Kim pulled back to gauge his reaction. And for more than a decade afterwards she regretted this little move because the look he gave her got burned into her mind. It was so open and full of love and hope. _That last one hurt the most. The what ifs, the regrets._

Her heart fluttered in her chest as if it was trying to break free and join his forever to finally feel whole. And she had let herself be swept up by the moment, by that feeling she dared not name. Their lips met halfway this time and she used just a little teeth to encourage his lips to open then slid her tongue into his mouth. As his hesitant hands settled on her waist she moved to straddle him for better access.

They started out slow, reverent hands roaming, fingers playing with the hems of garments, noses bumping each other playfully with adoring smiles as they chased each other’s lips sharing a few quick kisses.

Unthinking she sat back on his lap, accidentally brushing up against his erection, making Jimmy buck up with a deep, guttural sound. And it was like someone cracked a whip.

Kim pulled his undershirt off in one fluid motion then framed his face with both hands to kiss him hard and deep. Her fingers slid down to run amok on his chest and back scratching, teasing, caressing. His hands followed her lead, skimming over her breasts, massaging, knuckles brushing over her nipples making her tremble. _Thank fuck for going braless._

At some point she lost her shirt as well and only noticed it when his calloused hands skimmed up her back, making her whole upper body break out in goosebumps. She released his lips as she shivered. Then his mouth was on her breast, his tongue circling her nipple before flicking it and she threw her head back with a loud inhale grinding down on him. _Stupid jeans._ The friction just wasn’t enough to ease the growing ache between her legs.

As if reading her mind Jimmy braced his arms behind her and gently laid her down on the other side of the bed, settling between her legs fingers toying with the waist of her jeans as his mouth latched back on her breast.

Her head was halfway on a pillow which made things awkward so Kim reached behind her to remove it, didn’t see him move to help and ended up lightly knocking their heads together when she rose a bit.

“Sorry,” they chorused, laughing softly. He brushed the back of his fingers over her forehead and she pressed a little peck against where she guessed they connected.

Things slowed down to a gentler pace. With her blood going from boil to a simmer she let herself take her time to enjoy the warm body above her. All she could see was Jimmy and she felt a smile on her face matching his. He was content to just press tiny kisses to her nose, cheeks, the corner of her mouth, her chin. All the while using his nose to tickle her skin. Then he pulled back a little and just gazed down into her eyes. And she knew it. Knew what he was about to say.

“Kim, I lo--” She placed her thumb over his lips, her palm on his jaw.

“No. Don’t...” He nodded but she could see the hurt evident on his face. She decided to take the sting out with a kiss that she hoped screamed that this had meant something to her too. Her legs closed more firmly around him, heels digging just enough into his thighs to spur him back on track.

Jimmy seemed to have been convinced because next thing she knew he was easing her jeans of off her legs. It was November, she hadn’t shaved in more than two weeks and her panties were the most uninspiring pair she owned. None of that mattered as her doubt was shoved aside by need the moment she looked down at Jimmy kissing his way back up her legs, taking his time, slowing down at the inside of her thighs pressing a kiss closer and closer to her centre until one landed square on her mound still regrettably covered in cotton. His deep groan reverberated through the fabric, heightening the sensation of his warm mouth on her. _More. Now._

Kim pulled him back up to her and kissed him again and again as she worked his sweatpants and boxers down with a hand then her feet. Jimmy gave her an impressed smile between kisses then ground into her. She let out a frustrated growl. _Not enough._

He rose a bit and his hand slipped between them, fingers dancing at the hem of her underwear before sliding inside. His middle finger dipped between her folds and she whimpered at the touch, jerking up towards him and his straining cock on instinct. When she finally caught a glimpse of him the throbbing inside her intensified to an unbearable level.

She gasped, “Condoms?”

“Nightstand.” She started pawing towards said piece of furniture by her head, her aim was not the least bit aided by Jimmy having found a spot on her neck that made her involuntarily grind into his finger that was teasing her entrance. _Fuck._ Between two kisses he clarified, “Other one.”

His hand abandoned her panties and she swallowed a protest. Before he could move, her legs tangled with his and she pushed his chest a bit to flip them to the other side of the bed sharing a breathless chuckle both a bit surprised and impressed it had worked. Her hair fell around them, the small light on the nightstand gave it a golden glow. Jimmy’s laughter died abruptly as he gaped up at her mesmerised, as if she was some sort of divine creature. 

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, voice strained with arousal.

A bashful smile bloomed on Kim’s face. She had heard this line so many times before in various forms but coming from Jimmy it felt different. He tucked her hair behind her ear and she pressed her smile into his palm, hiding it. The look they shared was making her feel too much at once so she shifted her focus on the nightstand fishing out the condom package and knocking his plate off at the same time. For a split second she thought about cleaning up the mess then she felt his laughter between her thighs more than heard it and her mind re-centred back on Jimmy.

She rolled the condom on him, got rid of her panties and climbed back on top of him like a woman on a mission. Her hand skittered down his side then slipped between them grabbing him and guiding him inside of her. She sunk down on him slowly, first taking just his tip. Their breaths hitched simultaneously, eyes closing to try and amplify the sensation, narrow their worlds down to that one point of contact. Then she pulled up and sank down again a bit further this time. His fingers dug into her hips, the muscles under her palm fluttering, his whole body fighting off tremors as waves of pleasure hit him and he wrestled for control.

Jimmy McGill had the gift of the gab. Kim was half surprised that he wasn’t much of a talker in bed. But she was incredibly grateful that he was still very much vocal. Every time he entered her he moaned with abandon filling the room and her head with him. And it made her skin crawl, to be desired this much.

One of his arms snaked its way up her back and pulled her closer matching her movement with him thrusting up into her slowly at first then finding a rhythm that seemed to work for both of them taking him deep inside her.

For minutes the only sounds in the room were the two of them panting, moaning, skin slapping to skin, lips sloppily meeting between heavy breaths and the faint drone of late night television coming from the corner.

Kim ran a short nail over his nipple and a tiny, desperate noise reverberated in his throat, knocking him off-course, stopping his movement. She sat up towering over him, propped up by a hand on his shoulder and another on his ribcage and rolled her hips hissing when she found the perfect angle. She set a relentless pace aided by his strong grip on her hips.

She was still missing something and was contemplating how to balance herself with just one hand to spare the other for the task in mind when Jimmy’s thumb found her clit and started circling. It took him a bit of trial and error and some vocal guidance from Kim but when he did get it she forgave him for all that teasing before.

The effect was immediate, the pressure building inside her a tantalising prelude to her inevitable climax that arrived just seconds later making her scream his name out loud, grasping his shoulder, fingers clamping like a vice as she gasped for air, heart racing, legs shaking, muscles clenching and unclenching. In the periphery of her dazed mind she heard him groan underneath her, writhing in his own pleasure.

The first thing that left her lips was a curse, “Fuck.” The second: laughter. Joy fluttered about in her chest, filling all the spaces abandoned by her chase for gratification. Jimmy joined in, his raspy laughs bubbling out in a few short, sharp bursts. She settled on his chest fluttering down like an autumn leaf and he cupped her smiling face and pulled her into a lazy kiss taking her tongue for a languid dance.

Kim did not want this to ever end. When the real world started edging back into her mind she quickly shoved it out burrowing into Jimmy’s chest. Like a child in the morning she whined internally, _just a few more minutes_. And he seemed just as content to stay in each other’s arms, his hands gliding all over her skin with a little sigh.

 _It was weird, Jimmy not talking._ She suspected it had a lot to do with her stopping him from speaking his mind. _Shit._

Reluctantly, she extracted herself from his arms and went to the bathroom to clean up and pee with her head in her hands cursing herself. She had crossed a line and even if she could step back behind it unscathed she had dragged his heart along and had no clue how to not hurt him in the process.

Jimmy was just throwing his t-shirt back on when she re-emerged.

“Are you stayin’?” he asked, voice neutral as he handed her her t-shirt valiantly keeping his eyes on her face.

Somehow the idea of going back home to her empty bed wasn’t too enticing. They had to talk about this anyhow. Might as well do it in the morning as opposed to right after having sex or never. _Although the latter was rather tempting._

She nodded and pillaged one of his boxers from the dresser next to her as he went to the bathroom. She slipped under the covers and turned towards the wall. Moments later he crawled in behind her and hesitantly reached for her. She could have pretended to be already asleep. With a sigh she allowed herself to scoot backwards until her back touched his solid, warm chest. The last thing she remembered was his lips nuzzling her neck before she fell asleep.

Kim awoke to her stomach growling, then the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes hit her nose. When she burrowed herself in the sheets in preparation of getting up she was overwhelmed by Jimmy’s scent. Warmth spread in her chest, her skin tingling with memories of his touches from last night, her lips curling up in a smile. Then she was smacked square in the face with dread and guilt. Her smile crumbled into a frown.

 _This would never work._ She had no time for a proper relationship, not to mention her ex-fiancé told her numerous times that even on her best days she was emotionally unavailable. _Jimmy deserved so much better._

She slipped out of the bed and watched him for a while with a broken little smile as he made pancakes from scratch, softly humming to himself. He spun around on his heels on his way to one of the cupboards freezing momentarily when he finally spotted her.

“Hey.” And he managed to stuff so much into those three letters, not even trying to hide his feelings. The happy lilt in his voice, the upward pitch all reflecting the image of a better future playing in his head.

“Morning,” she mumbled, trying - and failing - to be unaffected by him. She looked away to the mountain of pancakes. “Hmm, it smells delicious.” But the distraction wasn’t working, her mind was screaming at her to address the tension between them. His name left her lips on a heavy sigh, “Jimmy---”

“Wait.” He raised a hand, palms up, stopping her train of thought before it barrelled over this moment. “Just...let’s have breakfast first.”

By all rights this should have been the most tense breakfast in history but Jimmy managed to prise a few laughs out of her still with his stories of his 21st birthday that started in a bar in Cicero and ended with him and Marco being chased by a moose in Canada and getting rescued by a Mountie.

Plates cleared it was time for the air between them to clear as well. Kim grabbed his hand resting between them on the table and launched into it with little fanfare. “Last night, was…But I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry... I just don’t have the time for a relationship right now…” All those unsaid things were fighting to reach her lips but she stuffed them down, her resolve already crumbling at the sight of his whole body slowly slumping with each word of hers. “I was just so…I haven’t had sex in--God--since I came here to New Mexico. And even long before that---”

“Hey, I get it,” he assured her, his voice cracking just a bit. He forced a smile that just made it worse. Suddenly, hope sparked on his face, lighting up his features again. “How about if it’s just a...how do you say it?-- Quid pro quo agreement?”

“Jimmy---”

“In camera? That means no public access, doesn’t it? No one has to know.” She should really stop studying for exams with him, he was becoming a powerful opposing counsel making very compelling arguments. “Just two friends who occasionally help out the other in their time of need.”

Once again she found herself swept away by his overwhelming optimism. _This might just work._

She had one request to ease her guilt. “Promise me that if some nice woman comes around you’ll give her a chance.”

His nod was not the least bit convincing. For a moment she was tempted to suggest drawing up a contract but decided maybe that was going a tad too far. _Occupational hazard._

“Do you want the leftover pancakes for lunch?” Jimmy asked as he started putting them in a tupperware container.

“What are you having?”

“Ernie’s bringing in Mama Rosa’s chilli today so I’ll be well-fed.”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna miss that,” Kim whined with regret. That chilli was heavenly.

“You can always just throw your case.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“So, pancakes?” He rattled the container in front of her trying to tempt her into the deal. “They were made with love.” The moment the word was out of his mouth he flinched. “I mean---It’s just an express---”

“Jimmy. It’s okay. I just...” At one point she would have to tell him how love was never about affection in her life until now. It was always a tool to hurt, to coerce, to manipulate. _But now was not the time._

She closed the small distance between them, raised on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “Show me.”

Within her next breath she found herself against the wall with his lips and teeth on the spot on her neck that made her toes curl. She buried her fingers in his hair on instinct holding him close as his hands were making their way underneath her shirt. Dazed, she caught a glimpse of the clock on the opposite wall. “We can’t.” Her lips said one thing but then done another, latching onto his mouth in a searing kiss, humming in delight at the sensations stirring in her. “Jimmy. Fuck--” She had to wrench her lips from his. “Jimmy, you’re gonna be late.”

“Worth it.” He pulled her legs up and around his hips then carried her over back to the bed.

The next few months their lives intertwined more and more. They kept spare toothbrushes for each other in their bathrooms. She had a few of his underwear in her dresser drawers - she claimed they made great sleepwear. But they were not boyfriend and girlfriend. Just two stressed out, overworked and underpaid friends who sometimes sought comfort in each other’s arms.

Initially, Jimmy found it incredibly hard to stuff down his emotions, to not speak them. Their new relationship was a dance around lines, drawing and redrawing. _Was holding her hand okay? What about fixing her hair, or a comforting hand on her back?_ It got to the point where he stopped being affectionate with her anywhere outside of their apartments. Plucking the cigarette from her lips during smoke breaks became his one tiny act of rebellion. He completely surrendered to her lead unaware that she was looking to him for guidance.

The closer they got the more they had lost from what made their friendship great. They had stopped having really meaningful talks because that would inevitably have lead to bumping into things they refused to discuss. The conversation still flowed effortlessly between them oiled by in-jokes and shared struggles but it wasn’t the same as it used to be.

When she passed the bar she started pulling away. She had an office upstairs and they saw each other even less. She was making friends with other associates, her everyday conversations riddled with even more legalese. He was losing her.

The only solution he saw was to become a lawyer as well. And they did bond over his struggle to make it through law school. He figured, if they were both associates, maybe then a relationship would be more acceptable and less embarrassing for her.

The second time he failed the bar exam he wondered if it was a sign that maybe this just wasn’t meant to be. But Jimmy McGill did not give up. He couldn’t. Not when he was so close to a real relationship with Kim.

And he had passed. And she kissed him with a vigour long lost between them. As she held him tight he couldn’t help thinking that this was it. The turning point in his life.

But it all shattered into pieces.

After he was rejected from HHM and struck out on his own they drifted apart for a while.

Kim felt guilty. She was trying to build her career at the place that betrayed him. Not to mention straight up denying she was even friends with him.

Jimmy felt like a loser. Again. _Who couldn’t make a living as a lawyer? How much of a fuck-up did you have to be to fail even at this?_

She kept telling him not to give up. He kept telling her that HHM would suck her soul dry. Both of them trying to help the other instead of helping themselves first, creating two unhappy people who felt unheard. And that was not particularly what anyone would call an aphrodisiac. Then Chuck got sick and he was just drowning, too busy to think about himself.

Jimmy did try dating a few times. Just to regain some semblance of normalcy in his life. But it was so utterly meaningless when his heart was never really in it. It just refused to let Kim go. How could it when they never really had an honest chance at something real before?

And then finally, after so many years, that chance arrived in the form of a cushy job at Davis & Main. It was time to stop being a loser and be a man worthy of Kim. Only it turned out she never thought about it that way. In fact, she was willing to go along with Slippin’ Jimmy as well.

_And it hurt: the what ifs, the regrets._


	8. Sugarplum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terms of endearments and The Disappearer

Jimmy was typing away on his laptop when the door between his and his partner’s office opened.

“Mid-sentence,” he muttered as an explanation as to why she was not immediately receiving his full attention. He hit a few more keys. Sighed. Hit backspace a few times a bit harder than necessary. Stopped for a moment to think then with a satisfied little smirk he finished up his sentence his fingers gliding over his keyboard like a master pianist. “Done!”

He looked up to the door then jumped a little when he noticed Kim standing right next to him. A quick glance at her feet explained how she had managed to sneak up on him so easily: no heels. His hands twitched, keen to give her a foot rub, knowing she probably needed it after her morning running errands.

“Here.” She handed him a business card.

Jimmy read through the details, perplexed.

“Uhm, is the hoover broken, SP?” Kim narrowed her eyes at him. “Sugarplum?”

She was not amused. _Another term of endearment bit the dust._ Jimmy was not giving up though, sneaking one in once in a while - mostly when they had a large piece of furniture between them and nothing throwable in her reach - testing her reaction. It did start as a genuine quest to find a way to call her other than Kim but he quickly had to learn that that was just not going to happen. He could get away with the occasional ‘wife’ and of course ‘partner’ was always on the table, she actually enjoyed that one. But anything else resulted in anything from mild annoyance to a detailed description of how she could get away with murdering him.

“No. He’s...the disappearer.” The last word came out hushed, urgent and strong. He liked to call this _‘Kim’s mafia voice’_. She did not. “Old friend of dad. They served together. He can get you a new identity and everything. Kinda like WitSec, only better. He also doesn’t keep any records.” Something was making her uncomfortable then she blurted it out, “And, uh, he never works with Latin Americans.”

“Charming.” _Who knew that there was a positive aspect of racism?_

“If you need an extraction you call that number and ask for a Hoover Max Extract 60 Pressure Pro. Sometimes he picks up, sometimes it’s an answering machine. Just use the passphrase, he’ll call you back.” The urge to make a James Bond joke was strong but he saw the serious expression on Kim’s face and realised this was not the time.

He had gotten them into this mess and promised to trust her with handling the situation. This wasn’t just a cheap bar trick, he had put their lives on the line and although the last few months were quiet - eerily so - he wasn’t stupid enough to think this was over. Just a few weeks ago murmurs among some of their clients had started that Lalo Salamanca was on a rampage down South. Some said he was in Mexico, others claimed Colombia and few mentioned Chile and even, for some reason Germany. Kim had decided that their exit strategy compromising of a few go-bags at strategic locations and fake passports she had acquired, was not enough.

“There are rules.” And she made sure he learned them just as well as his criminal law statues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, people know Lalo is alive. Gus did try and take him out here too but I retconned the mercenary following Lalo's orders to make that phone call and lie as it did not seem to me something that a pro would do 🤔


	9. Halo effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The importance of wedding rings and having a heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"Halo effect is the tendency for positive impressions of a person [...] in one area to positively influence one's opinion or feelings in other areas."_ \- Wikipedia  
> It is a type of cognitive bias just like the sunk cost fallacy.

#### 1995 June

Kim stood outside a quaint Tex-Mex restaurant propped up against the wall near the back exit smoking a cigarette. Inside, people celebrated the happy couple Burt and his new wife Celina. The cheerful chatter and energetic music turned to a faint, homogeneous buzz by the time it reached her ears allowing Kim to be alone with her thoughts for a while.

She remembered the time when she was preparing for her own wedding. Well, she was supposed to - everyone from her mother to her aunts and sisters-in-law said so - but she kept putting it off. What was the point? They hadn’t even had a date as David - her fiance - insisted she had to be pregnant first and actually manage to not lose it before he would walk her down the aisle. Handing back the ring after three years was the best decision of her life, she was sure of that. Her mother was furious, which was a huge added bonus.

She had grown a lot since; learned that she could in fact stand on her own two feet without having to rely on a husband that needed to be chained down with babies.

It wasn’t like she was anti-marriage per se. It was just not for her.

Her train of thought got derailed by the door opening nearby. She suppressed a grin as she noticed Jimmy walking out, looking around in search of her. He was wearing a rented tux as one of the groomsmen and it was such a welcome sight to see him in clothes that actually fit him Kim had a hard time taking her eyes off him. It wasn’t helping that he was laying it on quite thick the whole afternoon doing an impression of various male leads from classic cinema to her. At one point he leaned in close to her ear, practically purring in a Trans-Atlantic accent, “Here's looking at you, kid.”

Kim expected to be miserable the whole time and that she would have to slip out after the ceremony. She just forgot how much fun it was to be in Jimmy’s company. It had been a few months since they had managed to spend any significant time together or spoke more than a passing ‘hey’ to each other at work as Kim got extremely busy with a brief and Jimmy was trying to survive his 1L finals.

After the first dance Jimmy dragged Kim to the dance floor and she couldn’t leave for a long time after that. Ernie and Burt cut in once with the former turning out to have a hidden talent spinning Kim until she was almost dizzy.

Then there was that slow dance with Jimmy. They kept a respectful distance, still being mindful even though only Burt and Ernie were there from HHM and Kim was sure the two had already knew something was going on between their older colleagues for a while now. Regardless, Jimmy was close enough that she got completely mesmerised by his eyes and her nose was still, to this moment, filled by his aftershave despite the fresh air mixing with cigarette smoke she had been inhaling the last few minutes.

“Ha!” He exclaimed happily when he finally spotted her and she gave up the fight against her smile. He sidled up next to her and let his fingers brush hers lightly as he gushed jokingly, “I missed you!”

It was maybe 3 minutes since they had last seen each other. Although he might have referenced the absence of each other from their lives. Either way, she couldn’t help but share the sentiment.

He plucked her cigarette from between her lips and took a drag. “How are you holding up?”

Kim got back her ciggy and launched into a rant on nasty divorces she read about. How inconvenient it was to change names - and change back when the marriage dissolved - and also how demeaning it was especially when a woman took their husband’s full name. Then she jumped on to engagement rings. Then her engagement ring. “All I could think about was that I was wearing 6 months worth of rent. That’s insane. What’s the point of that?”

Jimmy tried to interject a few times but quickly realised she just needed to vent so he let her go on.

“Oh and whilst we are on the subject of rings. Don’t even get me started on wedding bands. I’m not cattle, I don’t want to be branded as my husband’s property.” She threw her tab to the ground and stomped on it a bit too hard accentuating the end of her tirade.

“Huh.” Jimmy looked at her a bit taken aback. “You have a very...interesting take on the subject.” _How diplomatic?_ “Can’t argue with you on the name and engagement ring front. But wedding rings. They mean something.” She gave him a challenging look, daring him to argue her on this. She was dying for a good debate having been stuck doing menial work for weeks now. “You know how when you’re in love you feel like you want to scream it from the mountain tops?” Kim nodded but not because she ever felt it; it was something familiar to her only from books and movies and she always thought it to be a form of literary exaggeration. “A ring is just that. Declaring to the world that you love someone. And it signifies the bond between two hearts. You don’t own the person but you do own a place in their hearts and they own one in yours.” All the will to argue left Kim as she marvelled in his honest words and that little glint in his eyes as he made his point. A very emotional point and emotions had no place in the sort of arguments Kim was good at. “It can also serve as a nice little reminder as you go about your day that even when you are alone, you just look down on that ring and know you are never truly alone anymore.”

“Huh,” she echoed his earlier sentiment.

Embarrassment painted Jimmy’s cheeks pink as he looked away. “I know it’s cheesy… but I really believe it.”

“Even after…?”

“Yeah,” he admitted with a dry chuckle finding humour in his failures. He found his optimism again as he declared, “I always say third time’s the charm so maybe my next wife will actually love me back.”

Kim found herself getting chocked up hoping that he would get it, that one day someone would love him back as much as Jimmy loved them. She croaked, her voice deep, “Wanna get out of here?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Kim drove them to her place without further discussion. Once inside Jimmy put on some music. Not exactly what she’d had in mind but she decided to humour him nevertheless. The first riff of Eric Clapton’s _Wonderful Tonight_ filled the silence, immediately tugging at her heart knowing it was a deliberate choice. Jimmy extended his hand towards her and she melted into his arms with a sigh leaving not an inch of space between them, trembling when he nuzzled into her neck.

🎵 _It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear  
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair  
And then she asks me, Do I look all right?  
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight_🎵 

Kim toyed with his hair at the nape of his neck as they swayed along to the music, just enjoying getting lost in his warmth again.

🎵 _And then she asks me, Do you feel all right?  
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight"  
I feel wonderful because I see  
The love light in your eyes  
And the wonder of it all  
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you_🎵 

Halfway through the song she pulled back to kiss him; slow just like their dance. Jimmy’s hands started to roam her back amplifying the humm of anticipation and contentment vibrating throughout her whole body.

“Your dress was driving me insane the whole day,” he rasped between kisses.

It wasn't anything remotely fancy, just a simple summer dress. With a wicked, sultry smile she whispered back, “There’s nothing underneath it.”

“Jesus Christ, Kim,” he groaned then met her searing kiss halfway, their tongues switching to a much more erratic dance. As their breaths became more erratic she she stepped back - keeping eye contact with him -, dropped the straps of her dress letting it pool by her feet. He lasted for all but two second before his eyes started to roam her body and maybe three before his hands joined in as well.

#### 2005

Kim was normally the one in charge of dealing with Private Investigators. Jimmy gave her the number to the vet early on and those two managed to find a guy who turned out to be just as reliable as Mike. Bit more chatty, but still professional and an ex-cop as well. If he wasn’t available Kim had two other, completely legit PIs as backup who were more by the book guys but also came with connections to local law enforcement.

Mike was strictly off limits as Kim was doing her best to put some distance between them and anything cartel related. Jimmy was initially reluctant about the decision until she rightfully pointed out that the ex-cop was most likely not out in the desert that day to save him. Jimmy never really thought too hard about the why before. He was quite keen to forget that whole ordeal. But when Kim pointed out that more than likely Mike did not trust him at all and expected him to run with the money Jimmy recalled the Kettleman aftermath and how he flat out told Mike that nothing was going to stop him the next time he got this close to a bunch of money.

The Halo Effect - Kim had called it - made Jimmy erroneously judge Mike positively based on previous positive-ish interactions.

So when Mike showed up one morning in their office, unannounced, whilst Kim was out, the alarm bells went off in Jimmy’s head. The older man started barging into Jimmy’s office despite Jimmy trying to appease him. “Listen, things have changed. You’ll have to come back later when my partner is in.”

Mike gave him a look, making it obvious this wasn’t optional and that there was a reason he was here when Jimmy was alone. Reluctantly he heard the old man out.

A few hours later Kim was back from court. She brought the greasiest, most heavenly Texan BBQ chicken wings for lunch. Jimmy took off his expensive grey suit jacket along with his favourite blue tie and shirt combo as to not ruin them then dug in as they discussed Kim’s hearing and their strategy going forward with step one being calling Kuby to conduct a little, ‘just about legal’ stakeout.

Before they parted for the afternoon Jimmy’s thumb rubbed his wedding ring. It had been on his finger for a few months now. Once he got rid of Marco's ring Kim told him his hand just looked naked and weird and also admitted that it was maybe time for her to do some growing as well and change some old views to something better, nicer. He had caught her staring at her ring from time-to-time, always with a tiny smile on her face and it made his heart race. _His third wife indeed turned out to be someone who loved him._ And their ring, instead of a spur into danger and excitement, became an anchor to reality, of a life with consequences.

“Mike came in today,” he blurted out and Kim froze. “I tried to tell him no, or to come back later but---”

“What did he want?”

“You remember Nacho Varga?”

“Your old client who spooked the Kettlemans?”

Jimmy nodded. “He got himself mixed up in some shit. The pie-sitter guy used to be a contact of his and he, ah, he grew a conscience and confessed to peddling pharmaceuticals years ago with Varga as the distributor. Mike said Nacho is caught between the rock and a hard place and wanted me to help him get out of MDC so he can make a run for it. Disappear forever.”

Kim frowned trying to put the puzzle together in her head. “Sounds like there’s a lot left unsaid here.”

“It was heavily implied that Nacho would not survive the week in jail. And Mike seems to like the guy and I kinda owe him one.”

“Jimmy---” He was talking himself into this again and she was having a really bad feeling about it.

“He saved my life, Kim," he argued and she was about to counter when he raised a hand to stop her. "Regardless of the circumstances, that’s a fact.” She relented. Jimmy was not ready to give up his heart. “And if I don’t do this Varga’s dead.”

“Sometimes these things are for the best.” It still took him by surprise when she spoke like this. He knew she was right and he also knew she thought him too soft for this. She told him she wanted him to stay that way, to never have to harden up. “Do you want me to---?”

“No!” He protested. She could do it, but it didn’t mean that made it easier for him. Or made it feel right. “Look at us. We can’t hand down the death sentence to a man. Not when there’s another way.”

Kim reluctantly agreed, “Okay.”

Jimmy seriously hoped this would not turn into one of those decisions that would bite him in the ass further down the road. Like that one stupid one that led him here in the first place: trying to scam Bettsy Kettleman into hiring him and then having the conscience to save those two idiot skater kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to chicagosunroof for pointing out that I woefully neglected the whole wedding ring storyline.


	10. Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy slowly shedding that punitive mindset, learning that people **can** change. If you squint, there's a tiny Jimmy/Kim paragraph in here

_Not guilty._

Jimmy smirked. _Victory number 99_. And judging by the temper on his client the man would give him a couple more in the near future, although next time it would probably be just a plea deal and prison time for young Michael Miller. There was a limit to how often a judge and jury could be manipulated into having sympathy for a decorated veteran who went around solving his problems by beating the shit out of everyone with the one remaining arm he had left. Kim floated the idea of trying to put pressure on the VA to get Michael some more help after they found out he had been given the runaround for months but it was a longshot at best. Still, Jimmy already had a draft of a strongly worded demand letter saved on his laptop.

Outside on the corridor he turned to his client. “Is your mother picking you up?”

Michael nodded in answer his sharp eyes tracking movement behind Jimmy who immediately turned, unnerved by the look on the soldier’s face. Two men were approaching them with friendly smiles. One of them was probably in his sixties with white hair, wearing an ill-fitting suit and a boring tie, the other: a younger man, late thirties, short and bald, wearing neatly pressed khakis and a shirt with tie. The sharp creases on his clothes could have cut skin. The older one extended a hand towards them.

“Mr McGill, Sergeant Miller. I’m Duncan Reyes. I run a non-profit called Mind. Maybe you’ve heard about us?”

Jimmy tilted his head quizzically. “You work with the Public Defenders Office?”

“Mostly, yes. Think of us as a sort of private Social Services.” Reyes turned to introduce the other man. “This is Captain Hernandez. He used to work for the VA.”

The two military men’s backs automatically straightened even more. Their handshake looked more like the start of an arm wrestling competition, fingers turning white from the pressure. “Sergeant Miller, may I have a word with you in private?”

The young man looked to his lawyer for input and all Jimmy could do was nod. When the two soldiers were out of earshot Reyes spoke up, “Mr McGill, I won’t mince my words. I’ve heard from my clients how effective you and your partner are, that you are not afraid to go the extra mile and that despite of it all you don’t charge as much as the other guys. I suspect you actually have a heart underneath that thousand dollar suit, therefore I’d like to propose a working arrangement in which we start sharing clients.”

“I’m sorry, but we don’t have time for pro-bono cases right now.”

“Oh no, we _will_ pay you,” Reyes clarified with a little chuckle. “Granted not much. We can offer CJA rates but without the redtape.”

Jimmy pursed his lips. Kim had mentioned applying for the Criminal Justice Act Panel once their practice would be old enough to be eligible but the amount of paperwork involved didn’t exactly make him warm and fuzzy inside. The money wasn’t great either but he had made his peace with that.

Reyes fished out a brochure for his charity and handed it to Jimmy who was immediately taken by the nice print job, the high quality paper and sleek design catching his eyes. The front page was done in lenticular print. The text you saw first declared with bold letters _‘You cannot change yesterday,’_ and as you tilted it it changed to: _‘but you can change today.’_

The social worker continued detailing his offer, “All I ask in return is that you divert clients to organisations we recommend, hand out a few flyers, make a few phone calls maybe. If the issue is too complex just connect us. We have hand picked the best support organisations in the state, the ones who actually care and know how to produce real results.”

Jimmy flipped through the brochure detailing the history of Mind, some impressive statistics, the merits of an emphatic mindset as opposed to a punitive one, a few personal success stories and at the very last page proudly listing their sponsors including local businesses like Los Pollos Hermanos.

Clearing his throat first a hesitant question started its way through Jimmy’s lips. “Have you...have you ever met anyone that was beyond help? Someone who just couldn’t change hi--their way?”

“A handful, maybe. But they all had - often numerous - serious mental health issues.” Jimmy nodded pensively. Abruptly Reyes remarked, “I knew your late brother, you know.” _Oh here we go, another member of the Chuck fanclub._ “He was a great lawyer. I’ve always wondered what he would have been like if he’d had a heart... I think I’m looking at him right now.”

The retort came quick and sharp just like the pain that stabbed Jimmy’s chest at the comparison. “I’m nothing like my brother.”

“No,” Reyes agreed compassionately. “Which is why I’ve approached you.” The older man swiftly elaborated, “Charles had very eloquently told me to go fuck myself when I pitched to him twenty years ago. He looked down on me, my colleagues and our clients. We disagreed on many things... And he _always_ had to win...” Reyes trailed off with a small shake of his head then put on a stern, authoritative voice that sounded a lot like Chuck, making bile rise in Jimmy’s throat. “ _People don’t change._ ” The old man’s incredulous chuckle signalled that this was yet another point he clashed on with the older McGill. “Anyhow, here’s my card. Talk it through with your partner.”

Four months later in the metro courthouse Kim sat in room 201, a hidden little gem that Tracy - their favourite clerk - surprised them with a month ago in exchange for contributing to her beanie baby collection. It was an old judge’s chamber complete with beautiful, old wooden furniture and not one but three windows on two different walls providing ample natural light.

Jimmy made her sit at the enormous judge’s desk once, just to have a feel for it. She liked it. Just a bit. What she loved even more was when he stood in front of the desk and started acting like the loud mouth Saul Goodman he sometimes took out for clients to ‘be more relatable’ and taunted her to hold him in contempt of court. She did hold him...between her thighs as he knelt in front of her putting his mouth to a better use.

Now Kim could never sit at that desk without squirming and preferred to do any sort of business meeting at the small table by the other end of the chamber that had four rickety chairs around it. That was where she sat now with five folders stacked up next to her. Five lives they were trying to change long-term, not just a quick band-aid that was getting acquitted but changes that would ensure the cycle did not continue.

Across her sat Duncan with a notepad giving her his full attention.

“Cynthia Waters,” Kim started, looking down at her notes. “We got her probation for possession but Jimmy had to call CPS on her after he went to pick her up for her PO visit. She had a baby and a toddler at home, both covered in their excrement with roaches running around the house. Jimmy just wants to know if the children have in fact been taken away. The woman can barely look after herself right now--”

“I understand. Don’t worry.”

They got through the other cases, all drug and gang related before Jimmy showed up plopping down on the chair next to Kim apologising to both before giving her a quick kiss. “Sorry, hearing dragged on.”

Duncan glanced up at him then did a double-take his eyes taking in the bright green shirt and the tie that could give you a migraine if you looked at it for too long, complete with the maroon suit. “Oh, wow. Laundry day?”

Jimmy looked down at his not so usual apparel and explained, “Judge Papadoumian, has a thing for colours.”

Kim took back lead, “Where were we? Oh yes. So, he went through High Hopes three times already.”

“Oh no,” Reyes grumbled.

“Yeah,” Kim agreed, all three knowing just how utterly useless that supposed rehab place was.

Duncan continued his grousing in a sarcastic tone. “Who would have thought that pony petting won’t help someone put down heroin?”

Jimmy - whose client they were talking about - chimed in, “Prosecution will crucify him the next time, regardless of who his father is. All they will see is three failed stints in rehab.”

The social worker nodded whilst jotting down a few notes. “I’ll find him a place ASAP.”

With a relieved sigh Kim concluded, “Well, that’s it for us.”

“I have one client for you.” Duncan pulled out a case file from his bag. “Alan Rodriguez. Trespass and vandalism. His public defender insists she couldn’t get him less than 3 months in juvie.”

“Which one?” Jimmy asked.

“Sarah, the new girl.”

Kim snorted, “Yeah, she took the advice ‘don’t make this job personal’ a bit too seriously.”

Duncan continued, “Kid’s fifteen has a massive chip on his shoulder but utterly harmless and scared out of his mind. Hearing is next week on the 5th at 11am. Can you fit him in?”

Jimmy flipped through their calendar as his partner asked, “Who’s the judge?”

“Uhm...” Reyes looked down to consult his paperwork. “Ha! Papadoumian. Time to get snazzed up again, McGill.”


	11. Happiness Matters Most

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor and Giselle? Mr and Mrs Goodman? Or maybe just Jimmy and Kim.  
> 

“C’mon, Bill. Do you really want me to pass this over to my wife?”

Bill’s small eyes widened to a normal size, his mouth opening on a sharp exhale. “No, no, no. I, uh, 6 months probation is fine.”

Jimmy looked at his watch then quickly shook Bill’s hand. “Pleasure doing business with you!”

The moment their hands parted Jimmy was running towards the main exit to Lomas Boulevard.

On the other side of the courthouse Kim was in a corridor negotiation of her own chasing after Brian the Bronze Boy, SoCalHoward, Wannabee-Governator...Jimmy never seemed to run out of new nicknames for the man.

“Brian, you know you can’t win this. Do you really want the loss on your record? I’ve heard the DA already prefers Suzanne for chief ADA and that woman knows when to make a deal.” _Except when she needed to be forced into one with a lot of mail fraud._ But Brian did not need to know that.

“I’ve been doing this for twelve years, Kim. Weren’t you a transactional attorney just a year ago?”

“Come on. The search was questionable at best and Judge Papadoumian tends to agree with my husband on police overreach.”

Pushing through the doors of the main exit Brian led them to the wide stairs that was partially blocked by a few cameras and reporters - all young and eager - pushing their microphones towards ‘Saul Goodman’ bombarding him with questions, making a racket that was hard to ignore. On the road parked a KRQE news van between two other white vans with station names on their sides, the stickers gradually peeling in the beating sun.

Kim walked ahead slowing their pace. “This isn’t justice, Brian. This is you wanting to look tough on crime. If you push this, I will happily make myself available to local news channels. Tell them all about how your little crusade to polish your numbers landed a 75-year-old grandfather with chronic pain in jail for a few ounces of weed.”

“He is a member of the Dorado Kings and 8 is a bit more than a ‘few’ ounces.”

Kim stopped in the shade of the giant scales of justice statue in front of the courthouse. The scorching sun was beating down on Brian’s impeccable, tailored black suit. “I’ll make sure to have him dress up nice to cover up his tattoos, have him shave his beard, get one of the small grandkids in his arm, maybe one or two of his Vietnam War buddies will also pop up in the background.”

“I can just publicise my side.” A bead of sweat rolled down bronze skin as brown eyes bounced between Kim and her husband behind her captivating his audience making them chuckle.

“You could try, but we don’t really live in the era of fair and balanced reporting,” Kim countered. “Do you have a lot of local media contacts? Because I’ve been making those for twelve years, Brian. Weren’t you in California just a year ago?”

Kim could practically hear her opposing counsel’s teeth grind. “Fine. You win.”

“Justice wins, Brian.” Kim grinned and got an answering scoff as Brian turned to continue his journey back to the Office of the DA over the road.

Jimmy tracked his wife walking back towards the courthouse. She stopped off to the side of the entrance in the shade, waiting. He already knew they won seeing her toothy grin from far away. When the ADA was well out of sight having disappeared behind the building a good thirty seconds ago it was time to end the act.

“Alright, kids, that’s a wrap! Thanks everyone.”

The film and drama students peeled off in groups going to various fast food joints to spend some of their hard earned cash. Jimmy’s regular crew peeled the temporary stickers from the rental vans then packed them with the equipment for their little scene to drive them off back to UNM.

Kim’s heart was still racing and from the way Jimmy’s chest rose and fell as he stood wordlessly in front of her, she knew he was on a high as well. A giggle burst out of her as she propelled herself at him, their kiss the second best way she liked to celebrate a win. _The first one had to wait until they got home._

Jimmy seemed to have different ideas as they made their way to the court’s parking garage hand-in-hand. “Wanna go out tonight?”

“If by ‘out’ you mean home, bath, pizza and TCM then yes.”

“Marry me,” he joked teasing out a carefree giggle he longed to hear. He was hit with the memory of their first play on Ken when they got together four years ago. “It’s been a while Viktor and Giselle had some fun.”

Kim’s right eyebrow raised slightly. “Do you miss them?”

“Oh no... I was just thinking. We used to let them out to play a coupla times a year and it’s been...wow, almost a year?”

“Maybe we don’t need them anymore to have fun?”

“Huh.”

“Come to think of it, they used to come out when we were down and I...I’m having a hard time remembering the last time I felt like shit.” Kim was doing her best to rake her mind for any lasting, painful moments from the last few months. She got nothing. “Weird.”

“That’s, ah-- that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is!” Kim made sure to let the smile back on her lips before she managed to completely freak Jimmy out. “It’s just been a while being Kim Wexler was consistently this fun...I think I’m...I’m happy.”

They sat in Jimmy’s car but he made no move to start it up. The adrenaline rush had worn off a little while ago but now his heart was beating wildly for a completely different reason. His eyes burned as he fought his tears. Kim - oblivious to it all - went on, “Man, I should have said yes to you. To that corner office.”

Jimmy cleared his throat with a chuckle then croaked, “Somehow I doubt elder law would be this thrilling.” She agreed with a short laugh. “Let’s face it, Kim. You were born to fight for justice.”

“What about you?”

“I was born to love you.” She swatted him as another giggle bubbled out of her. His smile slid off fast and she froze. “Seriously, Kim. I...it’s not like I don’t enjoy this job. I do. But it’s not my passion like it is for you. What makes me happy is being able to share a life with you. All of it. I love waking up with you, see you put that ponytail on along with your game face, watch you wipe the floor with Bill, charm the shit out of judges, shout at the TV when the Royals lose again and again, see you smile at your wedding ring when you think I don’t see it and then at the end of the day you slip in next to me in our bed and when I’m really lucky, I get to hold you as you fall asleep.” Kim was biting her lip, eyebrows furrowing. And then he said, “I suppose, what really matters most to me is to know you are happy.”

“Jimmy,” she could barely push out his name before her hand flew to her mouth to try and stifle the sob escaping her lips. In a shot she was in his arms blubbering happily along with him.

Ten years - or even one year - ago this would have been the time she would have straddled him, kissed him fiercely and then broken the rule on no car sex in your forties. This time she pulled back, looked into his eyes - full of happy tears, the crow’s feet around them deep from his smile - and said, “I love you, Jimmy. I love you so much.”

The kiss they shared was tender, reverent just teetering on the edge of love and lust.

That night - after they'd made love - Kim made sure to snuggle up to Jimmy as they fell asleep.


	12. Criminal Partnership

Duncan Reyes was on a roll again ranting about ‘the system’. “War on Drugs, my ass. When is this country starting a war on something productive, like, I don’t know? Inequality? Poor mental health? Subpar public education?”

Jimmy and Kim sat quietly across him at the table in room 201, writing out a few case notes between two bites of their late dinner. The sun had long set as they were finishing up a full day of trying to save people with possession charges from a life ruining conviction.

“Eat, Duncan,” Jimmy muttered, his lips pressed together, trying to hide a smile. “You can’t start a revolution on an empty stomach.”

The older man laughed; a rich, booming sound filling the room. He got his portion of the little Thai feast they have ordered and started eating. After a few bites of silence he spoke again, “You two know that some of our clients think you actually break the law for them? Especially you.” Duncan pointed at Jimmy who sometimes still tended to go a bit too hard with the sales and too soft on the disclaimers. “Shows you just how fucked up our legal system is.”

The two lawyers shared a quick, shifty smile. Most of the times it really was just knowing the law well enough to make it bend to their will. But there were a few cases when a little special treatment was still necessary. It did not happen often and if the plan was too complicated with too many moving parts they aborted it. They made sure that there never were any records, nothing written; the only way they could get discovered would have been for one of them to flip on the other. Whilst spousal privilege protected them from having to testify against each other it did not prevent them. The amount of trust this operation required grew with every act. Normally this was the weak point in many criminal partnerships. Not theirs. It just made their marriage and their bond that much stronger. _Wexler-McGill v The World._

As they continued to eat and work Kim engaged Duncan in a chat about a new programme for high school dropouts. Then Jimmy asked him about his pride and joy: his new garden. Once the case notes were all done the three of them discussed the baseball season so far which then quickly devolved into Kim and Duncan trying to double-team Jimmy and convert him into a Royals fan.

Hours later the food was long gone and so were most people from the courthouse. A comfortable silence settled upon room 201.

Duncan glanced at his wedding ring, the fingers of his right hand fiddling with the golden band. “I really appreciate this... It’s been ten years, one would think it’d get easier... But this day’s just---”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jimmy cut in, catching the man’s gaze. _Hell, he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost Kim._ He very quickly shoved that thought out of his mind. “Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we are not alone in the pain.”

Duncan gave him a small, proud smile recognising his own words from just a few weeks ago. “Do me a favour and take this weekend off, okay? Do something together that’s not work related and try and forget all this shit for two days? Make a few nice memories.”

“Okay,” the married couple chorused taking the advice to heart.

“Right, well, I should go. The cats must be missing me.”

They all stood to share hugs and say goodbye. And as Jimmy made sure to give their friend a tighter, slightly longer hug, he said, “I’ll pick you up Monday morning, old man.”


	13. Settling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Building a practice and buying a house

_What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer might let a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer knows how to make it last even longer._

In the end New Mexico’s finest law firms managed to drag out the Sandpiper case for almost three years. Then Schweikhart sat on the payout for ten months after the parties had finally reached a settlement. Many of the old folks involved were gone by then creating a bunch of legacy work that the very firms have descended upon like vultures. Jimmy was furious, especially when Irene passed soon afterwards and the real fight started over her considerable estate.

Jimmy and Kim became even more dedicated to the mission of Saul Goodman & Associates. They had invested most of the money in their practice, hiring two associates with years of public defender experience and most importantly very good relationships with judges whom Kim and Jimmy haven’t yet managed to charm. They also got a junior associate who had just graduated; not the top of his class but a scrappy young man for sure which he had already proved during his summer associate days with them.

There were months when they made no profit at all but they stuck to their prices.

“Having a conscious is expensive,” Jimmy grumbled but then he was the one who ended up bringing in the highest number of pro-bono clients.

With associates on staff Kim and Jimmy actually started having free time on their hands. That was where the rest of the money came in. One morning Kim pushed the property listings magazine in front of Jimmy and pointed at a picture.

“I want to see this one.”

The spoon full of cereal paused for a second halfway to his mouth. It had been two years they last entertained the thought. And even back then it was him who mostly entertained it, she just went along. Buying a house was just part of his grandiose plans that died down shortly after he partnered with Kim and realised the true meaning of success. _Quiet and simple was good. As long as he had her. As long as she was happy._

Jimmy looked at the listing: 15 acres of land in Cedar Crest with a four bedroom open-floor plan modern mountain house on it complete with a two car garage, a fireplace, an indoor hot tub and an almost completely wrap around patio providing stunning views of the Sandias. _It was perfect._

The realtor was an annoying woman who kept talking about babies and nurseries and children running around but Kim paid her no mind, just followed her along in a daze as she imagined the rest of her life there with Jimmy. _In their house._

“What do you think?” he asked when they were finally alone, standing on the back patio enjoying the silence and stillness of nothing but nature in sight.

“I was just picturing us having a glass of wine on this patio.”

“And?”

Kim ran a hand through his hair as she stepped into his embrace. “You’ll look dashing grey.” Then she proceeded to kiss the smile off his lips, humming when their tongues met for a languid little dance.

She pulled back a little, noses still touching, nails still scraping his neck she asked, “What do you think?”

“Well, I did picture us as well... Only in the hot tub.” She practically purred at the idea, rewarding him with a slow slide of their lips. “Naked.” Another kiss. “Probably right after we get the keys.”

For a long time Kim thought that stability came from a good job. It meant you had the regular means to afford a place to stay and food to eat. And your career was one aspect of life you could be in total control of. So she put everything into HHM, took a lot of shit over the years but kept telling herself that that was just part of life, the price you paid for stability. And if it wasn’t for Jimmy she probably would have retired from that place.

For a long time Kim thought Jimmy was a tornado. Unpredictable and unstable. That fully letting him in would blow away all that she had built. That he would just make a mess of her life then leave.

But jobs came and went whilst Jimmy remained the one constant in her life, the one thing she held onto. And whilst he may have trashed around, destroying things in his path, in his wild search to find himself, to find peace, she realised in the end that she was spinning just as wildly. The mess that was their life, they made together.

Things have calmed down in the past two years since they said ‘I do’ just a day after they almost said ‘goodbye’ forever. They were at peace now. _Grown up._ And it was time to lay down some roots for real stability. After all, neither of them would have to run again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming from working in video production words are really not my forte, hence I suck at properly painting scenes. Apologies! Hope you enjoy the visual aids instead. 🏡


	14. Belize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horses and honeymoons

There was a small stable at the bottom of Kim and Jimmy's property with connections to nearby riding trails and after a little badgering and a few riding lessons he finally agreed to buy two horses despite of his initial experience, which she promised never to let him live down.

Kim stood in front of the magnificent bay mare the riding school used to teach beginners, petting its forehead affectionately. When it gave a big sigh and pushed its head to Kim’s chest with a little force she chuckled whilst Jimmy jumped back in fear.

“Is this a normal sized horse?” He bleated in horror looking up at the horse.

“Normal? What do you mean?” 

“Well, it’s... _huge_!” He squeaked and she burst out laughing. “Hey, stop it! I’ve never seen one from up this close.”

After a couple of lessons Jimmy was still not loving the height. Kim was ready to give up. They did not have to own their horses, she could just have one stabled for herself for the odd ride. “You know, we don’t have to do this.”

“No! I want to. I’d love to go on rides with you,” he said as he took deep breaths trying to calm himself down and not sound like he was absolutely terrified. Which he was. “It’s just...I wish you were into cycling. _That_ I can do without the fear of death.” And then he had a sudden idea. “Hey, is there a smaller horse? Like, I don’t know a pony or a younger one maybe that’s not this enormous? Or hell, a donkey?”

In the end they got him a Kentucky Mountain Saddle horse that was just small enough not to freak him out and as an added bonus was a gaited breed which also meant a smoother ride. He named it Al Capony. Kim’s black and white mare got the name Zebra, not - mainly - after her favourite movie but because the thing sometimes barked like an actual zebra.

With work taking up less of her days and personality Kim became more comfortable with the girl from Nebraska, not having to hide her anymore in fear that she would reflect badly on her professional life. Their clients didn’t care as much for appearances as her old ones did.

“How did it go?” Kim asked Jimmy as he settled next to her on the outdoor couch in front of the firepit. A few logs burning gave the area an orange glow in the pitch black of the night.

He gave her a quick kiss before he answered whilst he undid his midnight blue tie and the top button on his white shirt. “Insufficient evidence. Vamonos Pest lives for another day.”

“Ira really needs to learn to share.”

“Oh, he will after this.” Jimmy leaned forward a bit to put his hands near the fire, warming them. “How was the range?”

“You know, the usual.” She fired her finger guns at him complete with sound effects. Tone less flat she added, “Met a few South Africans actually.”

Jimmy sat back with wide-eyes. “Really? In Albuquerque? What in the world are they doing here? With guns.”

“Looked like the Blackwater type.”

“Again, in Albuquerque?”

“At first I thought they came down from Colorado Springs but then they started asking about our caseload and my perception on the War on Drugs...”

“Cartel men?”

“I don’t think so. Couldn't speak a word of Spanish.” Kim fiddled with Jimmy’s wedding ring, smoothing her thumb over it as she divulged further, “They told me about this private game reserve in South Africa---”

Jimmy cut in, “Please tell me we are not going to hunt lions.”

“What? No!” She snorted giving him a little shove for insinuating she would ever take part in that activity. “There’s a safari. Some bush walking. A private hut with an outdoor swimming pool near where elephants walk-by..." She dreamily concluded, "A honeymoon would be nice.”

He hummed in agreement. Business was going well and for the first time in years they could probably afford to take a week or more off. Jimmy’s arm went around Kim pulling her closer. He kissed her forehead as he remarked, “You know, normal people go to Paris or Venice or I don’t know--Belize?”

“And that’s _exactly_ why we’re going to South Africa.” She giggled and he pulled her even closer savouring the feel of her, her warmth as they sat in silence watching the fire dance into its inevitable death.


	15. I'm Still Standin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 🎵 _I'm still standing after all this time, Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind_ 🎵 - Elton John, I’m Still Standing

The first time it happened Kim froze.

“Hi, I’m Jimmy McGill,” he introduced himself to a new client. And then another and another.

At one point the doodling started. He was sitting at their large dining table vigorously shading in a few lines with his pencil when Kim walked by, curious. He enthusiastically turned the page towards her as she sat down next to him.

“I was thinking about some artwork for the wall in reception.”

He sketched out the wall behind Francesca’s desk, the one you first saw as you entered their office building. The bold, elegant letters on it read: _Wexler, McGill & Associates._

Kim sucked in a little surprised breath. It had been three years since the start of Saul Goodman & Associates. But by now everyone in the office called him Jimmy. Saul Goodman was really just a random name, their brand so to speak. Kim had long made her peace with it. In the grand scheme of things what their practice was called was pretty irrelevant. She almost forgot the reason behind the birth of that name. _Almost._

Her fingers ran over the indents made by the pencil, over her name and his. Voice deep and low she said, “It does look like a better wall.”

He softly snorted in amusement at the memory then pressed a kiss against her temple. She kept her eyes on the paper mesmerised as she spoke, “I’d go for a sans-serif font instead. It’s friendlier.”

“You’re right,” he agreed and made a note of that little design input. Noticing her intent stare he acknowledged the situation with, “I--I want to talk to Howard first.”

Jimmy wore his favourite suit, the one he had on for his wedding, complete with a white shirt and grey tie. He walked into the illustrious building of HHM with no theatrics, patiently sat around when Howard made him wait ten minutes then firmly shook the man’s hand.

“Kim and I would like to change the name of our practice to Wexler, McGill & Associates.”

“Good for you,” cutting words slid through perfectly white teeth with thinly veiled hostility. It seemed that Howard had ran out of enlightenment when it came to Jimmy and his wife.

“I just thought, as professional courtesy--” At this Hamlin snorted but Jimmy ignored it. “I’d let you know and ask if you’d be willing to consider removing McGill from your firm’s name to avoid confusion.”

“I doubt there’s a large overlap in our potential clientele, _Saul._ ”

Ignoring the dig Jimmy simply stated, “I just want my name back, Howard.”

“Then have it. I’m not the one who took it. Take this up with Saul Goodman.”

Jimmy was all business as he laid out his argument, “You’d bought Chuck out. He’s not even a legacy partner. There’s no reason for his name to linger on your walls. He’ll still be remembered through the reading room at UNM Law. Francis’s given just as much time to this place, he deserves his name up there.” 

“You’ll excuse me for not taking business advice from you.” 

The urge to snap was still there. Faint, but still there. Jimmy’s words were soft instead, full of compassion. “Look, Howard. I’m sorry. I told you that you’ve killed Chuck and that was unfair and wrong. He was a sick man with a lot of issues. Yes, you may have pushed him a bit but so did I and so did Rebecca but most of all he had pushed himself. In the end it was his decision to kick that lantern over. You don’t have to torture yourself living with his ghost haunting this place to atone for it.”

The only indication that Howard had heard what Jimmy said was the older man's lips pulling tight. After a few seconds of silence he abruptly asked, “That was it?” He was already out of his chair to usher Jimmy out. “I’d like you to leave. I have another appointment.”

When Jimmy recounted the whole conversation to Kim over dinner, her first reaction was, “That pig fucker.”

He burst out laughing and spurred on by his good mood she continued, “We could just nuke HHM. I still know some dirt that could wreck their reputation enough that he’d have to close shop.”

Jimmy’s laughter died off abruptly at his wife’s serious expression. They stared at each other for a few seconds: Kim determined, Jimmy shellshocked. Then it was her time to laugh. “I’m just shitting you… But seriously, Howard deserves another bowling ball. Or we could bribe his hairdresser to make him ‘accidentally’ bald.”

Jimmy smiled along then sighed, “It’s okay. He’ll come around. They were much closer than Chuck and I ever were. It’s just gonna take him some time.”


	16. 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The companion piece to chapter 7 titled: 30. This one’s about Kim’s 45th birthday. And yes, this also gets smutty.  
> And yes, ‘my’ Kim was born in ‘63. Fight me!...Please don’t, I’m a pacifist.  
> 

#### 13th February 2008

After a long ride through local trails including a small picnic for lunch, Kim and Jimmy were sharing a glass of red wine on their patio curled up around each other on one sunbed with her head on his chest.

“What’s for dinner?” She murmured the question into his neck as her hand played with his now much shorter hair. He had given up the fight against hair loss and just embraced what little he had left fed up with trying to tame his ‘bangs’.

“Risotto with grilled goat cheese.” 

“Mmm,” she hummed. _Her favourite._ “Can this day get any more perfect?”

And just to test her hypothesis she started kissing him slow and deep, taking her time to enjoy every touch of their tongues. Her tiny, throaty moans kept travelling straight to his groin making his jeans increasingly more uncomfortable as the minutes passed. Her hand slid under his flannel shirt, short nails scraping and digging into any skin she could reach. He bucked up pushing his erection against her thigh. His hand followed her lead and dipped under her matching flannel shirt his fingers ghosting over her spine making her tremble and release his mouth with a loud moan, “Jimmy.”

She extracted herself from his embrace, stood and extended a hand towards him to pull him up. As she walked in front of him through the sliding doors into their bedroom she slowly unbuttoned and removed her shirt dropping it on the floor with her bra joining it shortly afterwards. She looked over her shoulder to see him way ahead of her and chuckled at his eagerness.

His naked body crashed into her back, mouth latching onto her shoulder, one arm holding her close, pulling skin against skin. His other hand slid over the smooth plains of her abdomen then up to her breast squeezing and caressing lightly as he captured her lips.

She managed to blindly unbutton and unzip her jeans. Jimmy reluctantly released her long enough for her to remove it and her underwear and socks.

Kim stretched out on the bed underneath him, her arms going above her head touching the headboard. Their roles flipped. In their business and life it was her driving. In bed - and in their relationship - she often liked to surrender herself to him to let him take the lead, eager to follow him anywhere.

He went back to kissing her - just like outside - deep and slow but now enjoying the friction between their naked bodies touching from head to toe. His shaft slid alongside her slit to the rhythm of their tongues duelling, teasing her entrance and her clit, getting coated in her slickness. His hands slid up along her outstretched arms, fingers intertwining so he could tug them down, wordlessly instructing her to touch him, run her fingers through his hair and down his back.

After a little detour of kisses and tongue pressed against her straining neck he looked down at her smiling face and the breath stuck in his throat, struck by the look in her eyes. _How in the world was this his life?_ He loved this woman so much words could never really describe it.

“I love you,” Jimmy declared then slid into her, her moan melding together with his groan. A delightful tingle ran up from the bottom of his spine to the top of his head. Her wet warmth surrounding him was already short-circuiting his brain. He could never get enough of this sensation. Then he started moving and shortly after felt her inner muscles start clenching along trying to pull him in deeper.

Whoever said married sex was boring, married the wrong person. Every single time with Kim was special and different and yet comfortably the same. They knew each other’s bodies so well by now the whole act was a constant build up of pleasure with none of the awkward bits in-between that came from not knowing what your partner really liked, as in _really_ liked, not just looked like they liked, but told you in no uncertain terms they liked.

And when Kim’s legs travelled further up him, around his hips, he knew just what she wanted. He raised up a bit, hooked his arms behind her knees pushing her legs up, changing the angle.

“God, right there,” she gasped as his cock slid right against her g-spot. Her hand was soon between them to touch her clit. He picked up the pace, saw her eyes gradually glaze over and did his best to hold on just a bit longer, moaning with every trust of his.

“Fuck, Kim,” he groaned feeling her tighten around him as she neared her climax.

When it finally hit her she exclaimed loud, voice trembling around the expletive as her whole body quivered with the force of it. Watching her getting lost in her pleasure tore the restraints from his as he followed her close behind his hips jerkily trusting in and out of her.

His arms shaking he layed back down over her kissing her passionately between smitten grins and small trembles of the aftershocks of their orgasms. Finding some strength he rolled off of her blindly taking the tissue she passed to him to clean up.

When she came back from the bathroom she settled laying half atop him, legs tangled, letting her hands try and caress every inch of skin she could reach from her vantage point.

Jimmy placed a palm on her cheek to make her look up into his eyes. “I know it’s not midnight yet but--Happy birthday, gorgeous!”

She smirked. “Are you telling me this was my present?”

“Hey, I seem to recall someone declaring this a perfect day already. Add me naked, it must be the best day you’ve ever had.”

“You think very highly of yourself.”

“I have it on good authority that I am ‘devilishly handsome _and_ insanely hot’.”

“I must be needing glasses in my old age,” she teased as her fingers ran over his soft cheeks, the curve of his biceps, his flat stomach. _Hot and handsome, indeed._

“So. How long do I have before you divorce me for a younger model?”

“I don’t know... But I’d savour every moment if I were you.”

“Oh, I will.” And with that he pushed her on her back and started kissing her with the vigour of someone much younger than his 45 years of age.

Her stomach growled tearing them apart with a laugh.

“C’mon, old gal, let’s get you fed.” She swatted him over the head with a pillow for that.

Jimmy was cooking in his boxers. Kim - dressed in his university jumper and a pair of his boxers - was just being a nuisance running her fingers down his back snorting in amusement when his hand holding the spatula trembled. He gave her a stern look he had trouble holding, put the lid on the pan he was stirring and suddenly, things got serious.

In a blink he had her pinned against the countertop. His hands framed her face then slid into her hair. His kiss was fierce, making her dizzy with need as she clawed his back. He lifted her on the counter and with just two flimsy boxers between them there wasn’t much to take the edge of his hardness grinding right into her centre.

Her phone rang from the bedroom. Whoever it was, she hoped they enjoyed her voicemail. Then the oven started beeping. That janked Jimmy right back in reality. He gave her a sheepish smile as if he was confused as to where this all came from. _She wasn’t._

Kim walked to her nightstand giggling to herself. Her smile crumbled into a frown the moment she saw the caller ID.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of JMM. For now. **I’ll probably add some new chapters to this instalment as and when I am struck with new ideas about this era** but right now it’s time for me to tie the whole story up. Thank you for reading!
> 
> 📢 The story continues in Trust No One, the 3rd and last part of Mrs Goodman ⬇️


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